Comedian, Software Developer. Funniest Comedian in Texas 2018. (he/him)
Dallas, TX
Joined September 2011
- Tweets701
- Following1.9K
- Followers2.4K
- Likes2.3K
Pinned Tweet
My dad told me no matter what, I should always be myself.
I’ve lost every costume contest I’ve ever entered.
FUNNIEST COMIC IN TULSA AT @TulsaLoonyBin ! Tomorrow night at 7pm and 9:30pm! Veterans and First Responders get in free!
*i’m posting this as an ad, but also, come out if you’d like, it’ll be fun!
Matt Rife? More like ‘Matt Rife-With-Great-Jokes’!
Follow me for more biting social commentary on the state of stand-up comedy.
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Sometimes, I think I'm getting healthier mentally and approaching a state of zenness. Then, a show comes out called 'Cruel Summer' and the ad plays 'Teenage Dirtbag' instead of the song LITERALLY called 'Cruel Summer' and... nails on the chalkboard of my mind, every time.
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Wes Corwin retweeted
Dear Kyrie,
There's a dude in Denton that is all about Flat Earth theory. He decks his car out every week. You guys should hang out. Iono how he feels about jews but he seems easily convinced.
Wes Corwin retweeted
This was a really fun one! Looking forward to presenting on Part II 🔥🙌🏽
Another successful #WonkyWednesday presentation yesterday when @SayHeyMaggieLC gave an introduction on Spatial Variation in Perceptions of Artificial Light at Night.
Not only very informative, but also inclusive as she incorporated many slides that were color contrast accessible.
Please give me back my body.
youtube.com/watch?v=xKGPl2d8…
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Okay. Calm down. You're the world's greatest inventor! The world's richest man! You were in Iron-Man 2!
You just need an idea, $4 billion and other people's engineering labor and you'll be out of this in no time!
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Wes Corwin retweeted
For Female Comedians, Dallas Comedy Is No Joke
buff.ly/3EiNYwb
Hey, Real Elon Musk here. Quick legal question:
If I get my body back, and I prove I was body-swapped, can I legally declare ‘backsies’ on buying Twitter?
What is the statute of limitations on backsies?
I'm not going to lie, I actually think I prefer tweeting as a cartoon-character-rich-person instead of as myself.
I'm never going back. This is it. I found my voice and it's that I'm the Real Elon Musk.
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Hey, Real Elon Musk here. Still stuck in this body. Could everyone please cash app me $8?
Apparently, this body’s parents aren’t blood Diamond miners, so I have to pay for things like rent and my daily caviar enemas.
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Okay, watching Freaky Friday was very informative. I think I can get back to my real body.
Only problem: How do 'peasants' like my current host get a hold of Jamie Lee Curtis? Can I write her like a Congressman? Does she have office hours for body-switch victims like me?
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Hi, Real Elon Musk here, stuck in the body of an Oklahoma-residing comedian.
Don't worry, everyone! I just started watching Freaky Friday, so once I learn how Lindsay Lohan did it, I should be back in my body in no time.