That's cute the way you spell "bragging" as "blessed".

I'm just really disappointed that my husband forgot about me on this very special day for me that is Boss's Day. 💄📢

Does your husband also "poop" approximately 40 times a day for 800 hours each time?

I feel like "calling out of work bitchy" should be a thing for perimenopausal women.

Ruth has been waiting her whole life for this moment. ⚰️💀

If there's any event in the universe not scheduled for weekends this month, I haven't met it yet. 😮‍💨

My 11 YO daughter has been carrying various containers of homemade emotional support slime everywhere. And now I need emotional support slime because of the emotional support slime.

My daughter in the car with her friend while I'm driving: "Mom, didn't you have a crush on an animated dinosaur when you were young?" Me: 😶

We are watching Scary Movie 3 and my teenage son said he hopes he doesn't "die of cringe", so please send him your thoughts and prayers. 🙏🏼

When you're a people person, but then perimenopause.😮‍💨

It's a good thing there's no such thing as a dumb question. Because I ask my cat 400 times a day if she is a good girl.

Totally normal perimenopausal thoughts like: "I love my family so much. And not a one of them better come home anytime soon."

How I'm watching the new Taylor Hanson fans now that he's on Dancing With The Stars.

I thought I invented the term "vedgie" for a front wedgie. I looked it up and it already exists. But it's just good to know I am among fellow creatives.

I try to teach my children to be body- positive, and also I just yelled from the motel bathroom mid-period in my mid-40s "OMG! Do not come in here! It looks like a literal murder scene."

This is a friend's front porch, and I feel it accurately depicts my social capabilities and mood mid-period in my mid-40s. 💀

Pro relationship tip: Be sure to say "Woah, tiger" when your husband veers onto the rumble strips for a split second while driving during a family road trip. Men love that.

I just told my daughter "I'm feeling really bitchy. I'm going to go upstairs for a few." This having older kids thing honestly kinda slaps.