I saw a band over the weekend. Their name was Cemetery Sex. They were great. I'm wording it this way because if I said "Cemetery Sex last night was great" You'd be like "WHOA TMI, Miss Mary Shelley over here"

If you can tell what gender your barista is that coffee is about to be trash. If he's a cis straight white dude he better have a mustache like the Pringles guy

Helen of Troy was probably a lot prettier before she started launching ships with her face

I was featured on a pride rap song! open.spotify.com/artist/5Wro…

I think that people who get body parts removed for medical reasons should save them so they can throw them during protests. I just like the mental image of a proud boy talking about "your body my choice" then catching an ovary to the face at 50 mph

The actress who plays Nikki from Obsession says that she's goes to see the movie in theaters in disguise. Could you imagine seeing that movie in the theaters then looking to your left to find Nikki already smiling at you 😳

Is there a way filter out posts from anyone with a blue checkmark and under 2k followers?

MAGA claims to love their supporters but then will turn around and give them a music festival headlined by Kid Rock

I want to see a bunch of elderly nerds do an Expedition 83 cosplay

When we said "reach across the aisle" that's not what we meant, Donald 😦

No Halloween costume I see this year is going to top this one of a racist light bulb

"Hi I'm a leftist nonbinary bisexual who plays D&D" Me :: looks around:: "Oh, my polycule is over by the joust across from the turkey legs"

If someone asks you a question and it knocks you over maybe it's time to retire from Congress

I can't believe the Nobel Peace Prize didn't go to someone who changed the Department of Defense to the Department of War and is currently sending troops to the cities of his political opponents

Shut up, Or the next Superbowl halftime show will be Worse Bunny.

When the Spaceballs sequel comes out I hope that's sometime piloting a Tie Fighter with a bumper sticker that says "I bought this before I knew Anakin was crazy"

They tried so hard pin this on trans people. "He was trans." "Well.. he was dating someone who is trans." "Well... he lived with a trans person." "Well... he watched the Transformers on TV" "Well... got to there with public transportation"

People just now learning what Groypers are is wild for those of us who have BEEN staring into the Abyss. I somehow feel like that James Franco "first time?" meme is appropriate

"Ok...ok... Maybe if I stand reeaal still the other Republicans won't notice than I'm brown..😓"