We cover the @USFL2021 with honesty, candor, authenticity, and transparency, in order to enhance fan enjoyment and understanding.
Joined July 2022
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The last time the @USFL2021 Twitter account RTed a team account that wasn’t the @BlitzChicago was BEFORE THE SEASON STARTED!!!! The fix is in! This league is turdy and I’m investigating 🕵️♀️
The @MIPanthersUSFL are 2-2 and averaging 98 ppg...and that's with Burrow averaging less than 8PPG. They could be playoff bound but that calf needs to get healthy to take another step forward.
Finish higher than 7th place for once in your life and maybe I’ll give a shit.
Thank you for believing in our abilities this season. Not many have in this league. Certainly not that dunce @USFLPigskinTalk
SOURCES: Jonathan Taylor will not report to the @BlitzChicago. Taylor, who is on the PUP list, wants a new deal from Chicago. He feels his $32 salary is not enough.
Talks between Chicago and Michigan broke down late last night. @BlitzChicago then pivoted to a different Taylor.
“Our fanbase is so stupid. They won’t know the difference,” a high-ranking Chicago source told me.
Time to own that wannabe reporter known as @USFLPigskinTalk, who just heard “Chicago” and “Taylor” and made up another sleazy rumor.
BREAKING: The @BlitzChicago are sending Mike Evans and Matthew Stafford to the Oakland Invaders for Jonathan Taylor.
BREAKING: @BlitzChicago and @MIPanthersUSFL have agreed to a HUGE TRADE! Chicago is sending Austin Ekeler, Calvin Ridley, and Mike Evans to Michigan for a 3rd-round pick swap and the right to Taylor Swift’s fandom.
Credit me, @USFLRapSheet.
Hearing a BIG TRADE (MASSIVE) is about to go down. You hearing the same thing, dweeb? @USFLRapSheet
And yet you’re 2-1. Turdy defense from Chicago to start the year. They’re able to get guys high draft picks like Walker because they keep missing the playoffs.
We are averaging 10+ more points per game than any other team in the @USFL2021.
It just helps when you find guys like this in the rookie draft…
Hahahahahaha @ExpressUSFL, remember when you signed Brock Purdy?!?! You lost! #UTurdy
Hey, @BETMMFantasy, what’s the line on the number of NFL games Taylor Swift attends the rest of season vs. games @MIPanthersUSFL wins the rest of the season? The Panthers are turdy want to bet against.
Hey, @MIPanthersUSF. Did you trade your best WR for peanuts because Taylor Swift and/or her “boyfriend” told you to do so? What a turdy trade! “I’ve got a blank space, baby, and I’ll write your brain.”
Hey, @BlitzChicago . Congrats on the good start to the season. Maybe you’ll make the playoffs one of these years. Love the Twitter bio you’re still rocking. Never miss a small detail! #UTurdy
Hey @MIPanthersUSFL and @SlingingItUSFL, congrats on your turdy-for-turdy trade. You both loss! You both still suck! I guess a terrible trade (both ways) can’t fix your franchises.
I’m glad @USFLRapSheet is back covering football. Though, him covering that sissy baseball sport suited him well.
Turns out I was correct yet again. If you keep taking @USFLRapSheet’s advice, you’d be living in a van down by the river. 🤡