I mean, I scored more than that in the old format.

Stockpile weapons, write 100,000-word manifestos xitter.cf/kvren43/status/1021939…

Q: In a household, a kettle is commonly used to boil which liquid? As ever, #tippingpoint treats its contestants with the maximum respect for their intellectual capabilities.

This lot on #tenable are as dim as a sack of rocks.

Argos in Wolverhampton is completely sold out of fans costing £35 or less. I blame Brexit.

Not for the women xitter.cf/wolfofwallst/status/10…

I have to babysit two dogs all morning. Hyperactive ones. I hate hyperactive dogs, I only like fat ones who just sit there expecting you to chub them up.

Shout-outs to the hundreds of people who think they are the only person to make the, "Yeah Gary Lineker, let's reply England vs Croatia, we didn't get the result we wanted there either" joke.

You don't think teenage boys' opinions on hair are valid? Sickening prejudice. We must include them in the discussion. xitter.cf/Jacqui_Smith1/status/1…

Completed level 3,590 of Candy Crush Saga which means that I have reached the end of all available levels for the second time. What a time to be alive, readers.

Stoke down to 10 men against Wolves #wwfc xitter.cf/tim_spiers_Star/status…

Try to raise an extra £20 and get that fucking hair sorted out. bbc.com/news/uk-politics-449…

I'm sweating so hard now that I just pissed the bed and somehow it got drier. #heatwaveuk

Now that I have no job, no chance of a job, no home and no money, I might join Elitesingles out of spite.

The woman just said that lemmings are birds, and she is in the final. She is the person who won the show. #tippingpoint

Q: A cocktail of fresh cream, creme de cacao and creme de menthe is named after which insect? Contestant: A daquiri. #tippingpoint

What should I do as far as a job is concerned? I hate responsibility, hate using my initiative, I'm not a team player, I hate people, am woefully unreliable and my only abilities are good spelling and punctuation and excessive verbosity. How can I monetise this abysmal skill set?

Tricky game of #c4countdown today. Young fella (champ): 68 points Old fella (challenger): 71 points Me (me): 113 points So not that tricky really.

I am sweating so hard today that I have started leaving a gleaming trail in my wake like a slug. I was just in the local supermarket and one of the staff emptied a load of salt on my head.