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Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin) profile picture

Toilet Tweets

@TurdTweetin

shitty jokes

 United States
Joined February 2014
  • Tweets2.5K
  • Following2.8K
  • Followers6.8K
238Media
Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)Photo by Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)
If you stand on a toilet you’re probably high on pot.
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I haven’t ever seen anyone take as big of shit as the saints just did. #pray4neworleans
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Toilet Tweets retweeted
Dale (@stlsaint) profile picture
Dale@stlsaint17 Jan 2019
<calls radio station> Me: I’d like to dedicate that song “wake me up before you go go” RS: Great! Who is the lucky lady? Me: My bladder. RS: ........ Me: HELLO?!?
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Surprising fact poop joke aren’t my favorite but that are my number two!
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Good morning world! No get the fuck out of my way need to take a shit
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We have smart homes but when are we going to start including the toilet into them
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Image from Toilet Tweets (@TurdTweetin)
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Sitting on the toilet watching the CFP halftime show and lil Wayne looks like a cross between the hamburgler and my grandma
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How often do you put a tampon in your butt to stop leakage? Be honest...
71%Never!
0%Sometimes😩
29%Regularly🥴
17 votes • Final results
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Recapping the NFL games this weekend from the toilet this morning who shat the bed more Seahawks or Bears?
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Life happens between your search for the next toilet to sit on
Comically relief on the toilet
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Greatest hype song before pinching one off to the porcelain king.... ready go
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What’s the craziest thing to happen to you on the toilet? How gross is #turdtweetinnation
Missing my Starbucks, my bathroom stop has been push back an hour because this weak ass home coffee
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I have the house all to myself. Yet I am sitting in my tiny bathroom. Best room in the house.
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If you found a floppy disc with a bank number to get $25,000 do you have anyway to get that info around you? #toiletthoughts
It’s gems like these that you find when you sit on the shitter in the middle of the night.
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Just bought some smelling salts you think they work on being constipated like they do on concussions
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Every time I walk into my bathroom I stare at my toilet just to make sure it still knows I’m the alpha
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