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My wife’s coworker Kevin is legit the best dude on the planet. Got us a $400 bottle of wine for our anniversary. (I didn’t like it but I’m not really a wine guy)
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And just found these in her car. Unreal. Really hope Kevin finds someone (his wife passed a few years back).
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Wow. Talk about appreciating your employees. My wife’s coworker Kevin just hand-delivered her company holiday gift. She literally can’t stop crying. Merry Christmas!
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horse: *walking into a bar*
bartender: ha ha why the long face?
horse: why do you still conform to western beauty standards in a world where diversity is ever expanding and highly influenced by intercultural understandings and practices
bartender: holy fuck a talking horse
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Coming out of the bathroom with white powder on my nose, not bc of drugs but bc I was cupping parmesan into my mouth
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I reviewed Men's Jockey® 4-pack Classic Knit Full-Rise Briefs on kohls.com
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Replying to @ratcentrix @AchingKneeJoint
that too, apollo’s ultimate frisbee accident with hyacinthus, but i’m referring to athena killing pallas in a sparring “accident” and then taking on her dead friend’s name as pallas athena
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To the NFL- I have decided that I will not be participating in the Super Bowl today. When deciding who to put on the field I request that neither team select me for any positions. I have a myriad of chores to do and I would like to watch Shrek 2. Thank you for your understanding.



















