@TimVelcro

6/10

Joined June 2013
  • Tweets736
  • Following559
  • Followers157
21Media
my cat any time I eat anything without giving him a sniff first
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in court for speeding ticket, head bowed: your honour who art in heaven innocent be my name
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the catch is having to play for Manchester United
BBC Sport
@BBCSport8 Feb 2025
Manchester United are believed to be considering a move for a Tractor Boy. 🚜 But there is a catch... 😮 #BBCFootball #ManUtd

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recruiter’s LinkedIn bio
Andrew Tate
@Cobratate3 Dec 2024
My unmatched perspicacity coupled with sheer indefatigability makes me a feared opponent in any realm of human endeavour.
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Ed Davey's election campaign
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nice statement from Justin ‘the metaphor understander’ Gaethje
MMA Fighting
@MMAFighting24 Apr 2024
Justin Gaethje isn't rushing his return after UFC 300. 📰 bit.ly/GaethjeRecovery
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leaked shot of the Nike shirt england will wear if they reach the final
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tories when you ask if everyone can have a decent standard of living
Conservatives
@Conservatives7 Dec 2023
Labour when you ask for their plans to tackle illegal migration.
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Avatar: The Jizzer
Culture Crave 🍿
@CultureCrave6 Dec 2023
James Cameron's next #Avatar film will not be called 'Avatar: The Seed Bearer' (via @ComicBook)
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someone didn’t get the invite to toss the pill about with chuggsy
The Good, The Bad & The Rugby@GoodBadRugby15 Oct 2023
Unsavoury scenes at Stade Velodrome as several England fans are removed for fighting. #RWC2023 #ENGvFIJ
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1,235
also the nickname for my room in my mid 20s
Midwest Modern
@JoshLipnik11 Oct 2023
People’s Gas Light & Coke Company Chicago, IL
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I don't know who wrote this but I think about it once a year and it makes me SHOUT laugh. clickhole.com/this-speech-wa…
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netherlands sowing netherlands reaping
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rushed. anxious. no athleticism. no style. no showmanship. 2/10
Damien Gayle@damiengayle14 Oct 2022
Activists with @JustStop_Oil have thrown tomato soup on Van Gogh’s Sunflowers at the national Gallery and glued themselves to the wall.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
The action was dramatic but the picture was unscathed and is already back on display. The frame was damaged slightly, according to The National Gallery. Adding as context because people might believe the protesters damaged the painting. twitter.com/nationalgaller…
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Judge: You have been summoned here today for… *checks notes* kicking off all over Cornwall
Cornwall Live
@CornwallLive13 Sep 2022
Her rampage has seen her put behind bars and made subject of an order preventing her from kicking off anywhere in Cornwall cornwalllive.com/news/cornwa…

Thug had knife and assaulted woman in violent attack

Carly Diane Hickman is behind bars following a string of offences

cornwalllive.com
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Americans when they say they’re going on a holiday to Europe
некультурное быдло@tim_language28 Aug 2022
“How many countries do you want to offend simultaneously?” “Yes”
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guys, if you think this Tory Christmas party stuff is bad, you should check out...everything they've ever done
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getting a round in, respectfully.
Oscar Williams-Grut@OscarWGrut27 Oct 2021
This is certainly.... something! blog.revolut.com/poppy-appea…
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new dictionary definition of 'bare minimum' just dropped
The Washington Post
@washingtonpost18 Oct 2021
Prince William and Kate recycle outfits to highlight climate impact of fashion wapo.st/2Xt4PtC
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trying to follow google maps directions when it says east and west and not right and left
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