I was walking down the street today and two girls passed us and said “Nice @JacobWysocki shirt”. It’s the first time outside of Dropout Improv Live someone’s commented on it.

Just got timed out by @SuperSmashCon for 6 hours for saying that @ssbmhax would win if he was there.

The duality of man @vgdunkey @MoistCr1TiKaL

Remember when we thought Elon Musk was Tony Stark but then it turned out he was just Justin Hammer?

Why do I get these ads I don’t even have a uterus.

Why do cops like killing dogs so much?

My Bluetooth receiver in my car broke but I had a CD of @cyrilthewolf’s Sands of Time and I still know all the words.

Ordered @dominos and they said it would be 2 hours for delivery and I said ok that’s fine and then 2 hours later they called me to say they can’t deliver my pizza and had to cancel the order -_-

Not much is more embarrassing than having a hexagonal Twitter profile picture.

Nintendo when @GrandPOOBear makes a Mario Maker level: youtu.be/a3_PPdjD6mg

I’m a tutor and I have trouble keeping all my times straight is there an easy app where the students can schedule the sessions?

Hello I may be looking for an artist soon to help me brand my stream please retweet this or DM me about prices.

Hey @TwitterSupport why don't you release inactive usernames? There's one I want that was created in April 2009, has never tweeted, and I think they're following only the default people.

Never got a chance to meet @jarvis at twitchcon :(

Yo @SpiritAirlines if you’re giving me a 15 hour layover maybe don’t also make me pay twice to bring a carry on bag. You advertise the “low-cost” but I’ve paid as much or more than any other airline by having to spend over $100 to bring clothing with me.