Size doesn't matter if you get quality into the box.

Win VIP tickets to Bournemouth 7s Festival crowdfunder.co.uk/p/parley-p… #Bournemouth7s #Bournemouth

The cat just pissed inside the sofa.

Everyone has a plan to buy local, until they get punched in the face by a £7 price tag on a small jar of honey.

It's mince pie season again. Good luck everyone! I hope you all hit your targets and and see some impressive numbers this year. #mincepies

I was looking up the name of this shape and Wikipedia went all Brass Eye on me 🤣🤣🤣

This is why I never buy my bearskins from Aliexpress. The poor lad’s learnt a lesson today. #queensfuneral

Is this organ playing right or are we being trolled? #queensfuneral

Boris Johnson, putting the tory in “You’re history, mate.”

As part of our usual smalltalk, I told the guy in our local post office - who is an excellent English speaker, though it is not his first language - that I had a "spring in my step today". He winced, looked at my leg and said "Oh dear, that's not good, I'm sorry to hear that".

I'm just nipping out for a bit.

It just made my day when I heard the Half Man Half Biscuit reference on the new @TheWildhearts album! 🤣🤣🤣 Thanks @GingerWildheart 🤘😎

Just found Graeme Souness looking rather wonderful in a book published in 1899. Should help me with the visuals next time he says "back in my day".

Gold 😂

Am I the only person for whom “within the hour” and “within an hour” mean different things? It keeps causing misunderstandings and now I’m wondering whether I’m the problem! 🤔

Really hope this tie gets the end it deserves. #FRASUI

All these knockout games are thrillers! Looking forward to England injecting a bit of boredom back into proceedings. #EURO2020

I’m sure the missus wasn’t expecting much from a @Tesco sandwich when the filling ingredients were butter and ham. But she did expect butter. And ham. #Tesco