The Office Comedy.

I hate going an entire day without talking to you.

Your ex asking to be friends after a break up is like... Kidnappers asking you to keep in touch after letting you go.

I hate when people text me hours later, trying to continue the conversation. The feeling is gone

do u ever become friends with someone and then u get to know them and its like no wait i don't like u can we stop this friendship thing

Emotionally: I'm done. Mentally: I'm drained. Spiritually: I feel dead. Physically: I smile.

how am i supposed to lose weight when the best part about life is food

have you ever just stopped and realized that if you hadn't met a certain person in your life, your life would be completely different

I like those friends that you don't have to talk to every day but you're still friends even if you go weeks without talking.

how do i uninstall anxiety

As soon as I get under the blanket covers, all of today's responsibilities become tomorrow's problem.

The only math I ever want to do consists of counting my money when I'm rich.

Me: oh thats cute *checks price tag* Me: no its not

No girl wants to be with a guy that can't let other girls know he's taken.

Mirror: DAMN, you look good today! Camera: LOL, no.