JD Tattersall

Do you like hard core sex and ultra violence? If the answer is yes, then never mind, buy my book of poems anyway. amazon.co.uk/Time-Destroys-E… – at Stockport, England

Sup day end batches! Another totes huge triumph of a day. F & G yeah! Bin done bin down in Stockyport! Saw my bread bin, choo choo! Massive big ta Chuck to all that said hi and that. Many much love and hugs up at ya. Sticky times for you all! Sweet!

Sup batches! Hell yeah, I totes done finished all my Xmas shopping! What! What! Yeah bruv! Temu done me proud bruv! Five days and it’s all gonna be here in da house! Peace bruvs!

I wonder if Amazon will ever deliver this item?

Do you think I should dye my hair black again like I did last year?

Birthday announcement! 4th of November again. Your favourite person’s birthday. The parade of celebration starts at 9am and continues until 9pm. Presents may be left at the gatehouse to the Tattersall compound. Anything deemed shit will be crushed then given to a poor person.

The Brute outside the compound. Trying to fool the baboons with his many disguises.

I know we are in terrible times. I understand, I really do. And it must be so much worse for you because you will have realised by now, that you aren’t and you will never be me. Prayers and thoughts to you in these difficult times.

Judy has put her pumpkins away for another year. Her Christmas puddings will be on display soon.

I hope you’ve all practiced your “But I didn’t order Greek yogurt” face in the mirror this morning. Because that day is coming my friends! Oh yes! It’s coming!

Cheese waffles! I think not. I didn’t die in two world wars to have to put up with that kind of food in mouth nonsense! Sort yourself out Brussels! Mike drop! 📉

Just thought I would treat you to some of my spectacular photography. You are very welcome.

I’ve just started watching this show. Columbo. Don’t know why it ran for so long. Jesus, it’s so piss easy to work out who the killer is. The writers should be ashamed of themselves!

I’m not dead.

Yellow wind warning. The world would be much more fun if the wind came in different colours.

What is your 2nd favourite orifice?

Good night everybody.

You look at one apothecary cabinet on Temu and then the algorithm thinks you want to look at hundreds.

Contestant: “I’ll like to solve the puzzle please ‘Stick it up your ass, you motherfucker!’” Host: That’s incorrect and I’d just like to remind contestants that the clue is, it’s a Nursery Rhyme”