TheDeadpool

@dr_crane Hey, I have all kinds of stuff! Guns, knives, halitosis, psycho exes, one of your zombie-chewed shoes, nude pics of @crazyinez .

@thomas_schiff Ok, just so you know, in regards to that earlier tweet about gifts, your snuggie is in the *smaller* box.

A warning to anyone who hasn't opened their gift from me: I like Andy Sandburg and I regenerate lost limbs. Open accordingly.

@rion_yamaki Blue screened!? Are you a robot? ::squints at eyes:: Do you have x-ray vision? Are you the Son of X-51? ::starts singing::

@Oracle_Gotham @Amemait Right, so I need to add 2 more snuggies to my x-mas shopping list.

@Joe_In_LasVegas Don't worry, fixing crazy is ALWAYS a temporary thing. Like, even more than dying. Hell, look at me.

Tastes like... extinction. And thermite.

::starts chopping and flailing wildly at the velociraptor corpse:: HA! ::pulls off leg, sits down, takes a bite and chews::

::walks out of room, returns moments later with a cheap samurai costume over his outfit, fake top-knot over his mask, katana out:: HYAAA!

::looks into bag:: Now THIS! is a drumstick ::pulls leg, frowns, pulls harder, grunts:: Fine, if you want to be difficult...

::unzips body bag:: If Jurassic Park taught me anything, it's that T-Rexes are just really big chickens. So I figure Raptors are turkeys.

"You're not even supposed to be here, the last time you teleported a bunch of them to Manhattan and let the symbiote out" IT'S A SYMBIONT!

::walks in dragging smoking body bag:: "You can't shoot those, Wade, they're endangered" ::stops at table, lifts body bag::

@Oracle_Gotham It's all that info. Next thing you know your head will explode like that chick from Crystal Skull.

So, have I missed anything?

...and by that, I mean "500 issues with me in them", not "short, stocky, and furry". I mean, I usually don't even have eyebrows. Or lashes.

Well, my series. But really, there's almost too much awesome with me just existing, let alone having Logan-level appearances!

Dammit, I just realized I could have said "Hold the phone" and it would have worked too, since he was killed by hotline. Least I get a site!