@TheBlessMess

Pussyocalypse ⚡️ Transvaginal mesh enthusiast ⚡️ Smallpox champion

Joined August 2010
  • Tweets4.5K
  • Following663
  • Followers8.1K
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Slaydrienne retweeted
crispy315@crispy_31514 Jun 2017
you guys wanna see a party trick? [overdoses in the bathroom]
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Slaydrienne retweeted
Spencer@13spencer11 Dec 2015
The only weapon that would stop Matthew McConaughey is a t-shirt gun.
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@MarkForwardd that was the best April Wine show I've ever been to.
Someone design a first person video game where you drive safely and never shoot anyone and get extra points for voting in a local election
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Parents, don't forget to update your sex talk to include Netflix and chill.
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Slaydrienne retweeted
oll@dulcetry15 Oct 2015
Maybe more people would go to church if they had hologram Jesus just shredding the fuck out of a guitar on stage
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@ImaFlyontheWall how you doin'?
A YouTube star, a blogger, and an Instagram celebrity walk into a bar. Literally no one gives a shit.
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Outlook meeting requests needs a “I’d rather swan dive off an overpass into oncoming traffic but I’ll be there” option.
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Slaydrienne retweeted
Spencer@13spencer6 Oct 2015
[Delicatessen] *a woman at another table chokes on her meal, and dies* Me: I'll have what she's having.
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Sext: I find you less gross than most other people hi
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John Lennon would have been 75 today and probably a judge on America's Got Talent.
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How cool are you, on a scale of 1 to teacher sitting backwards on a chair?
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Now that I'm older, I wish my friends would peer pressure me into saving for retirement.
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Sometimes I worry I've smoked so much weed, that I've forgotten something cool. Like knowing karate. I've Jason Bourned myself.
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Reworking my resume into emojis to remain relevant in today's competitive job market
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Slaydrienne retweeted
esteban@lawbsterfest7 Oct 2015
I accidentally touched my dog's butthole yesterday and it kinda feels like when I accidentally hit "accept" on an incoming phone call.
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