For all the casuals that missed everything that happened this NFL off-season, here's a quick recap 1. Dianna Russini was riding the dick off of Mike Vrabel for scoops 2. Every sports account is a prediction market affiliate 3. The Rams took a QB at 13 that McVay hates 4. Banner year for DUIs. Tony Romo embraced his inner Cowboy with one. Kyle Shanahan embraced his inner 49er by getting out of one. I think Jordan Addison had like 6 5. Stefon Diggs choked the shit out of his chef that he was banging then got 12 million from the Commanders who love that shit. The tried to trade for Josh Jacobs for the same reason. 6. Brandon Aiyuk became a role model to everyone who ever wanted to be a CTE influencer 7. ESPN fired everyone cool except Matt Miller who lost his arm then even more tragically was outed as a scammer 8. Aaron Rodgers reconciled with his family for attention 9. Falcons have two left handed QBs (Penix, Tua) with zero right brain cells 10. Tom Brady went off the deep end 11. Dolphins held tryouts from local citizens of Miami for every position 12. The 49ers electrical substation became sentient and went full Widow's Bay 13. Travis Kelce married an older woman. Rashee Rice missed the wedding because he was in jail for having a shitty knee or something 14. The NFL can eject players from games even when referees missed something (the DK Metcalf rule) 15. Everyone that tore an ACL or dislocated something is somehow on track to play Week 1 16. The fat kid from Superbad is going to kick your ass