Tess Ferrell

Hey @Macys my furniture order has been stuck in shipping purgatory for almost two weeks with @UPS showing they haven’t even received it from you yet. And also can’t seem to get a Macy’s human being on the phone. Ummmmm.... what’s the deal???

Perfection.

Oops! Bestie and I accidentally twinning last night!

Hey @FreshDirect Y’all slipped a loaf of banana bread in my order yesterday and I am LIVING for it. It’s delicious. I’ve already eaten half the loaf. Nailed it.

The other bish’s face when she FaceTimes you while in bed with your man...

Laughing with @HayleyPodschun at the crack of dawn about The Bachelor is truly one of the greatest ways to wake up!

Dear NYC bicyclists. Please FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stop running red lights and putting pedestrians at risk. I WILL yell profanities at you if you almost hit me because YOU ran the red light. – at Manhattan, NY

I think if I wrote music, I’d want to know if someone happened to have one of my songs stuck in their head to get them through a stressful situation. So @Pauleeg , The Secret of Happiness is currently getting me through an IV drip! Thanks for that! – at Manhattan, NY

Wait a minute.... WHAT??!!! – at Manhattan, NY

Nessa dates! October 23-29. Come see me roll around at the Gershwin Theatre! @WICKED_Musical #wicked #wickedthemusical #wickedbroadway #broadway #nessa #nessarose #tessarose #understudy #swing #ensemble #wickedwitch #wickedwitchoftheeast #jeweledshoes #rubyredslippers – at Manhattan, NY

Change of plans! Nessa August 31-Sept 2! – at Manhattan, NY

August 28-September 2 ________________________________ #Wicked #wickedbroadway #broadway #nessa #nessarose #tessarose #understudy #jeweledshoes #rubyredslippers @WICKED_Musical

The amount of calories I can eat post-show really is shocking.

Hey @Dodgers, sitting here trying to enjoy the game with my dad, but the music during the pregame is SO LOUD that we can’t even hear each other. I sing on Broadway and am used to loud noises speakers in my ears, but this is ridiculous.

I try to keep politics off my stuff because... ya know... let’s have a talk in person rather than get petty on the interwebs, but this literally made me guffaw.

Hey @NYCTSubway car 2563 on the uptown D train... no AC and it’s 90 degrees outside.

Just witnessed some award winning parenting. 🙄 Y’all, if you get in each others faces screaming “fuck you” in front of your kids, you’re just breeding another generation of people who are going to do that. Calm down. We don’t need to get that heated over who holds the stroller.

The only thing reliable about the MTA is the 1 train not having AC. (car 1867 @NYCTSubway)