I am going for 200m all.

I over-torque every bolt. Honestly i dont care, its not my problem

Swiss prisons are vastly overrated. The steaks are usually a tad bit overcooked and the tennis rackets are never fully tight

The new DA is a hard-charger... and he went to Brown. Might need to cut loose and book it before I'm back in the spotlight

Roght before losing consciousness I heard my orthodontic surgeon claim he was on 'Demon time' while revving the dental drill. Upon waking I realized i no longer have a left kidney

Only gray loot while looking for catalytics today. Mostly pickups and SUVs, not a Prius in sight

They need to split Indonesia up into like 8-9 separate countries. That is just an outrageous amount of islands for one nation

I dont get the big deal about staring into the sun, like its all the way over there, what could it possibly do to me?

It is getting harder to manage all my responsibilities around my busy stream schedule. May need to look into hiring an assistant to handle some things for me

It should be illegal to drive this drunk

Some people ask me what i do with my ill gotten gains. While i won't fully disclose my financial dealings, i will say i like to influence Balkan politics. For example the sub-minister for agricultural development of Albania is fully on my payroll

I hate when people honk their horn at me when im in the middle of sending a message

Just paid off the new District Attorney's law school bill. It was a lot but worth it to never see jail again

Had a dream i was stealing electrical components off of the Ice road truckers out in the middle of the tundra and lowkey a couple of them died from exposure

Current plan is to move to a small, remote island town thats vaguely in the New England or Puget sound area and just hope i can tank whatever nefarious terror lies below the surface of the welcoming community

They call it the Supreme Court because it has cool sour cream and diced tomatoes on it

I know the exact length of any given coastline

All i have learned is if my car every instantly accelerates to 600 MPH i am in trouble

Was just shot in the chest seven times

Sent 4 cartridges of buck shot into a wendigo that was prowling my aviary, but upon the morn it had transformed into my neighbors labradoodle