@TalkingSchmidt

Actor. Comedian. Voice Actor. SAG-Eligible I’m also on the Upper West Side Community Board

 New York, NY
youtu.be/tptZQ-8PQtc?si=Xrp0wnfg8wAoMF7w
Joined August 2020
  • Tweets6.7K
  • Following1.4K
  • Followers2.3K
1.2KMedia
You guys would not believe the roller coaster of emotions I’ve been through
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Abbott and Costello about to blow your mind
redacted@aquariusdaysOct 17
if i smoke before the new nathan fielder movie am i gonna get scared
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You Can See Everything crashed Letterboxd
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Certified FREAKS
Gothamist
@GothamistOct 16
Deer are all over New Jersey roads looking for sex, state officials warn gothamist.com/news/deer-are-…

Deer are all over New Jersey roads looking for sex, state officials warn

Mid-October through mid-December is deer mating season, which can be a danger to drivers as the sex-seeking creatures cross roadways throughout the Garden State.

gothamist.com
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This is what birthday parties in Bushwick are like
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Marie Antoinette: “let them eat cake” Katie Miller: “let us eat steak”
Katie Miller
@KatieMillerOct 14
Grass-fed steak, asparagus and white sweet potatoes.
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Definitely unfollowing her now
2001 Live
@25YearsAgoLiveOct 15
Ghislaine Maxwell, daughter of British media magnate Robert Maxwell, sends an email to her network envisioning the world 30 years in the future, a world without Arabs.
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Oh great now there are Trump robots
BBC News (UK)
@BBCNewsOct 14
Robot seized by German police after allegedly groping teenage girl bbc.in/4yhLbMk

Robot seized by German police after it was allegedly used to grope teenage girl

Police have launched an investigation on suspicion of sexual harassment after the robot's owner, 16, and his companion are said to have streamed the incident.

bbc.com
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The only people who ever rode in those carriages were idiot tourists and they hated Mamdani anyway
Chris Sommerfeldt@C_SommerfeldtOct 13
New: Mayor Zohran Mamdani and City Council Speaker Julie Menin have reached a deal to abolish NYC's horse carriage industry — a critical breakthrough in a decadeslong, politically fraught effort to ban the tourist attraction. politico.com/news/2026/10/13…

Mamdani and City Council Speaker Julie Menin strike deal to ban NYC horse carriage industry

politico.com
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Kelly Clarkson gets 1000 likes but how many likes for my little patriotic nephew?
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When you’re feeling a little creative before bed
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Forrest Gump reboot looks good
DiscussingFilm
@DiscussingFilmOct 10
John Cena and Elmo watching the sunset together.
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Imagine being the comic that had to follow Kramer that one time
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What year do we think “KoRn” was scratched into this subway seat?
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I would have tried to run too cuz I would have assumed this guy snapped after getting kicked out of the Village People for gaining too much weight
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Nice to see a woman in a field dominated by men
TMZ
@TMZOct 6
American Airlines passenger allegedly put her legs against the window as she masturbated 🤮 Exclusive details: tmz.me/4y8H7ht
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Classic brick wall for standup comedy setup
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Was this a Nathan Fielder business idea?
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Must suck to be those other states and lose at capitalism to a socialist
Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani
@NYCMayorOct 1
New York's economy grew by 4% in Q2 — more than any other state. Want to get your business off the ground? Hire only the best? There's one place to do it: New York. newsweek.com/new-york-leads-…

Map shows which state economies are growing and shrinking ahead of midterms

The Bureau of Economic Analysis said that 44 states saw their economies grow in the second quarter of 2026.

newsweek.com
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These billionaires are outta control
Gothamist
@GothamistSep 30
A LES stabbing sends 3 men to the hospital as NYPD search for the top hat-wearing suspect gothamist.com/news/a-les-sta…

LES stabbing sends 3 men to the hospital as NYPD search for the top hat-wearing suspect

The attack happened out front a deli on Bowery and Delancey Streets.

gothamist.com
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This is the most the Atlanta Hawks have been talked about since the Dominique Wilkins days
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