@ChevyStevens Can I get some insider info on the next book? The website has teased long enough. Surprise 2019 release, can we expect in 2020? All my favorites @StephenKing @joe_hill @chuckpalahniuk have dropped / are dropping books over the last/next 6 months. Thanks!

Every time they say golden and the cowboys Packers game, I just think of @ShowtimeTate.

Mike Evans' hands be like

As you can see, Greenlaw AKA Retardlaw, can't be as strong as he is without being retarded.

The only reason Jacob Cowing is on the 49ers is because he's retard fast. As you can see, the retard part proceeds fast.

Jerry Rice had way better quarterbacks than Moss. MVPs like Montana and Young. That's why Moss is the goat. But do you all remember when Rice blew out his knee at 35 and then went to play for the Raiders, and Gannon won MVP? It's almost like wherever Rice is, there's an MVP.

Not all women make fake rape accusations. But always a woman.

Yo, @ochocinco I normally smoke padrone 1964, T52, or Olivia Melanio. Which Eighty5 cigar should I try?

A lot of y'all don't know who has PO box 963 in New York City, New York State, 10108. And it shows.

When my mother died, USAA told me to pay off her credit card, so I did. Then they cashed in her reward points, resulting in a negative balance. They stole my money during a time of grief, and now they refuse to refund the negative balance to me because I'm not her.

Local channels that you can receive by antenna should be free to stream online. Guess I'm going to pirate the NFL games because Fox and CBS won't come in. 🤷‍♂️

If men aren't supposed to hit women back, then other women should step in and beat that bitch's ass the same way men do in the opposite scenario.

I guess @grantcohn was right. Jed York is pinching pennies everywhere, even on escorts. youtube.com/shorts/HULHm0EZa…

Black girls use baby hairs to hide their weave the same way paraplegics use prosthetics to hide the fact that they don't have a limb.

Black women are behind white women in nearly every measurable metric except basketball, and now that Caitlin Clark is in the WNBA, black women are mad as fuck.

How many holes are in a funnel? If the answer is one, then the answer to this isn't 10 or 16. And if you think there's more than one hole in a funnel, explain.

My diet be dialed in all day, then at 9:00 p.m. 6,000 calorie snack.

If breasts aren't sexual organs, then grabbing someone's breasts is not sexual harassment.

Me walking through the house trying to find a flashlight since the powers out but also turning on all the lights as I walk room to room like a moron.

Me and Dustin Poirier discussing our favorite Michael Jackson song. Me: Billie Jean. Dustin:

Every time I see this ad I always think it's Grant Cohn in 7 years.