Have you ever seen a Geordie in Torreense? Have you fuck #SAFC

Has Rooney been cloned now? They’ve messed up with the teeth #motd

Sky Sports trainers, 2 for 1 #MUNTOT

I can’t abide the sound of Sean Dyche. Absolutely staggering that he gets voiceover commercials

Following Newcastle United’s new deal with Coca-Cola, the drinks giant is launching a permanent North East release featuring black and white labelling to “reflect the colours of the area.” Bottles will be exclusively sold across the following postcode areas: NE, DH, SR, DL & TS.

I didn’t think Wayne Rooney’s voice could get anymore annoying. Turns out I was wrong #motd

The toilet roll should be perched so the paper always hangs overarm, NEVER UNDERARM. And that is a fact.

T-shirt on first, then the deodorant. Never the other way around.

Infantino in the bin.

Don’t take babies on aeroplanes.

‼️EXCLUSIVE‼️ Liverpool FC are preparing a cash plus Salah deal for Newcastle United winger Jacob Murphy. Arne Slot wants to complete the move early in the January transfer window. More to follow…. #LiverpoolFC #Salah #SalahIN #SalahOUT #ShakeItAllAbout

‼️NEW‼️ Manchester United Director of Football Jason Wilcox is keen to bring former teammate Tim Sherwood to Old Trafford to assist Ruben Amorim. He believes Sherwood’s tactical nous will greatly improve the Red Devils chances of staying up this season #ManUtd #Amorim

‼️EXCLUSIVE‼️ Liverpool are planning an audacious January move for Newcastle United winger Jacob Murphy. The Reds see assist king Murphy as the solution to misfiring striker Alexander Isak’s woes. More to follow…. #LiverpoolFC #Isak

‼️JUST IN‼️Liverpool are considering issuing a complaint to the EFL board against Southampton, as they believe the Saints tried too hard during their 3rd Round tie. The Reds are furious that they were almost embarrassed at the hallowed Anfield stadium last night. More to follow…

‼️SPECIAL BULLETIN‼️Sir Jim Ratcliffe is rumoured to have approached Mark Hughes with a view to the Welshman managing Man Utd until the end of the season. Hughes is thought to be reluctant to leave project at Carlisle United. More to follow….

‼️SCOOP‼️ Benjamin Sesko has sensationally handed in a transfer request following Manchester United’s degrading defeat at Grimsby. Sesko looking to reverse the “biggest mistake” of his life just a few weeks after joining the Red Devils. More to follow…. #Grimsby #ManUtd #MUFC

Shitshow of a window I know, I know it’s really serious #NUFC #Isak

Shitshow of a window I know, I know it’s serious #NUFC

Nottingham Forest should have played that Niko Williams more often last season. If they had they probably wouldn’t have struggled so much 🤷‍♂️ #EURo2024