Just made a coffee so strong I can see WiFi.

Dolly PassedOn.

True. I just put £20 on binface.

I thought The Odyssey was okay. I stopped thinking about it maybe an hour later. It’s no Happy Gilmore.

Nil Oddie

Cafe evacuated after really annoying yappy dog got so excited he threw up. Yeah I know, not all dogs.

70 million people drain the last mouthful of tea from their Sports Direct mugs, tighten their dressing gown belts and go to bed. #uk #Eurovisión2026

Admire the British shithousery of producing the best music on the world, and coming dead last in Eurovision. We’re the Millwall fans of pop. No one likes us we don’t care.

I think shouting ‘ingerlund’ is going to limit your streaming revenue over the borders.

Or you could just give everyone one vote.

Silly Eillish. #austria #eurovision

Paramorons #Romania #Eurovisión2026

Nei Nei Nei #Norway #Eurovisión2026

I think it’s wonderful that syrup technology is making men so much more comfortable wearing them in public.

Dressed like a mannequin in the first 3 minutes of a Sewing Bee transformation challenge. #cyprus #Eurovisión2026

Has she been on a cruise? #sweden #Eurovisión2026

Well, spin my nipple nuts and send me to Alaska #Kryten #Lithiania #Eurovisión2026

He looks 10 pints and a chicken jalfrezi in already. #finland #eurovision

Mild frustration against the machine #moldova #Eurovisión2026

Hyacinth Bucket trying to impress Emmet. #france #Eurovisión2026

Look mum, no talent #uk #Eurovisión2026