No even editing the spelling on that last tweet because I’m a badass

If URI doesn’t come back in this game I’m gonna need so many jack and cokes 🤦🏻‍♂️ #marcHmadnes

Fine guys, I’ll come to the city to watch march madness but I’m not drinking beer and they better have the flyers on...with volume!!!

The jerk store called. They're running out of you! #boom

Watching 2 guys and 1 girl is my kind of night

Don't forget the seven grain toast. Ladies, #HMU

Egg whites, low fat cheese and fresh vine tomatoes. Don't fuck with me on my breakfast game

When I go to bars I pick up girls for my friends...not because I'm a good guy, I'm just playing the long game

Follow up on that last tweet. I only drink diet soda #caleriecounting

I only drink liquor. Not because I'm a badass, beer's just not for me #vodkasodablackout

I wear Ricky & Morty shirts because I think it will get me laid

Go home Pierre, Crosby's not here!

The cup's round so why do they call it Ovaltine? #classic

So what's happening in the Yunk tonight? #HMU

I know the Eagles are in the playoffs and all, but can we please put on the Flyers game??

I'll eat it because I can't smell it in my mouth @CMeyer1026

I got my tea at THE cafe.

Guys, let's go to THE Cafe. #pennstate

I can't wait for lip to hit puberty and shed his skin