"The laser caught on fire so until that's repaired it's actually really hard to get laser cut things."

"Nothing looks exciting in Comic Sans."

"You (@brettneese) should get a coat rack for your conference badges."

"The second place winner at my Startup Weekend was a social network app that -- I kid you not -- allowed you to talk about the weather."

"I spent 6 months in SF living with just Ziploc vacuum bags, Costco airbeds and that one IKEA lamp everyone owns." #brands

"I actually really like the IRS."

"Sir Mix-A-Lot is actually really involved in the Seattle tech scene"

"I'm required by law to post this conspicuously in our office, which kills me because it's in Comic Sans."

"@splunk is basically Excel + SQL + magic."

"I have the worst news... apparently Bill Gates changed his glasses."

"THIS IS THE BEST THING. Since I'm now technically a teacher, I get the emails telling me when the fire drills are."

"Oh yeah, I forgot I was carrying around $450 in Cheesecake Factory gift cards."

"If you're looking for something fun to do over the weekend, maybe check out our zoo because our zoo owns zoo.org."

*nerds out over IP phone*

"I've never seen anything on Secret that actually made me happy." - @tylermenezes

"I actually really like accounting, it's like a checksum for money." - @tylermenezes