Kevin retweeted
Two ships pass by one another on a dark and foggy night
Me gazing longingly towards the other ship: do you think there’s girls over there
Perilous Pete: I think I gots scurvy
Me: yup. I bet they’re curvy… (yelling) h-hello?
Voice from other ship: do ye have girls over there?
Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Undertime Slopper.
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The number of worldwide COVID cases is steadily approaching the number of views on the Eminem - Til I Collapse x Real Steel fan made music video
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Every time we are at Top Golf Chasten orders the wings for the booth and eats all of 'em. Starting to get sick of his BS!
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New Minions movie trailer dropped and I'm already dressed (as Kevin) and in line. Wife is so pissed 😈 sorry princess. Daddy will be home July 2nd 😎😤🙌
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Just got an audition for the walking dead 😎😳 gonna show up dressed in a three piece suit sending emails and filing reports 🤣😈 Cus corporations are making us the real zombies 👀😏🧟♂️
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Just found out my therapist makes brutal therapy content on tiktok and its not even doing numbers my guy
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A lot of people have told me to "cool it online" since I just got out of legal trouble. But, my friend @StuartHicar made this three years ago and to see it stolen by none other than glup shitto really hurts.
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