@StoicallyJames

#Stoic #INFJ who loves Arsenal, books, podcasts & craft beer. What would #SherlockHolmes do? Also, add more cheese to everything while you’re at it.

Joined November 2019
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He groaned slightly and winced, like Prometheus watching his vulture dropping in for lunch.
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He trusted neither of them as far as he could spit, and he was a poor spitter, lacking both distance and control.
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What’s the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don’t yield to them?
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The Professor and the King.
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And the northern lights have appeared 😍 #Berneray #OuterHebrides
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I was sitting in traffic the other day... Probably why I got run over.
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Did you hear about the mute chicken? It didn't give a cluck. (Sorry about the fowl language).
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We started a band and called it "Books" So no one can judge us by our covers.
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I recently took a pole. And found that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.
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I returned my lizard to the pet store as he wouldn’t stop telling dad jokes. That’s not a lizard, the store clerk told me. That’s a stand-up chameleon.
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Don't you hate it, when someone is wearing the same outfit as you?!
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I met my wife on Tinder. That was awkward.
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I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday. I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
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Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine? He’s fully recovered.
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How much did the pirate pay to get his piercings? About a buccaneer.
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Old Town of Chaniá, Crete Island, Greece. 💙🇬🇷💛
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Nature, when planning this sterling fellow, shoved in a lot more lower jaw than was absolutely necessary and made the eyes a bit too keen and piercing for one who was neither an Empire builder nor a traffic policeman.
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I've started telling everyone about the health benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.
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I asked my wife to pick 6 stems of asparagus from the garden. She came back with 7. The last one is just a spare I guess.
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I just got a job in a factory making plastic Draculas. There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count.
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