"Hello Emily, what's this"? "Well Miss Phillipson, it's my homework". "Oh lovely, what's it about Emily"? "Well Miss Phillipson, despite all of our class only being 6 years old, apart from Josh whose still only 5, we we're all asked to write about what our Mummies and Daddies do for jobs". "Oh I see, and what did you write Emily"? "Well I said that my Mummy used to work at the local factory making complex semi conductors and intricate circuit boards for all manner of electronic businesses across the World. But the factory closed down because they can make them in China a lot cheaper". "Oh dear Emily, what a shame. What does she do now"? "She's retrained as a holistic therapist. She goes into migrant Hotels and puts hot pebbles on the backs of the illegals to help them deal with the stress of living in a comfortable environment and being given three square meals per day plus snacks and then delivering pizzas on their mopes at night". "Right, I think we'll leave it there Emily". "No. I haven't told you about my Daddy yet". "That's enough Emily". "Anyway, he used to be in the Navy. He was a weapons expert. But someone sold his ship for scrap and no one could find him a new one so he had to get a different job. He's now working in the local job centre, which is a stupid name for it because no one goes there to find a job. It's just a place to go to get free stuff if you arrived here on a dinghy. He helps all those men fill out all the paperwork so they can get houses and money and other stuff. He says he was trained to launch missiles at the buggers and now he's helping them to get a council flat and a Play Station". "Have you finished now Emily"? "Not really..... I haven't mentioned my Uncle Maurice yet.... He was a bricklayer... he was going to help build a million new houses but it all went tits up and now he's a Diversity Officer at the council. He's got a rainbow lanyard... then there's Aunty Claire.... she ran a pub but that went out of business so she's now signed up to sell drugs for the Green Party.......".