@Squirrel_Hand

Law man

Antarctica
Joined March 2019
Me when anyone emails me about anything at all
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
This post from Pramila Jayapal defending Ilhan Omar is proof that she is having panic attacks. Let's look at @RepJayapal immigration records. She married a US citizen in 1990 and divorced him the exact year she got citizenship in 2000. Was the marriage entered into in good faith, or was immigration status a primary motive? She arrived on an F-1 visa for Georgetown and said her parents sent only their last $5,000. Full costs were far higher. Who funded the rest? Did she work without authorization? In 1995 she left for India, stayed long enough to abandon her green card, then got it restored only after institutional strings were pulled at the U.S. Embassy. Citizenship clock reset to zero. She later ran for Congress anyway. If Ilhan Omar can be raided over immigration paperwork, why not Jayapal? No one is above the law.
This is a disgusting abuse of power from an out of control president, who has been obsessed with attacking Ilhan Omar and the entire Somali American population for years. To use federal law enforcement resources to raid the home of a sitting Member of Congress weeks before an election is a dangerous sign of an authoritarian president who will stop at nothing to distract you from his deep unpopularity with the American people. We stand with Ilhan. You come for one of us, you come for all us. nytimes.com/2026/10/12/us/po…
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shout out to the guys still running universal basic income experiments to figure out what people will do with free money from the government as if we don’t have like 100 years of welfare data, and as if that answer isn’t basically just: rot, demand more free shit, crime
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
Man is banned from driving for ten years because a Muslim woman was praying. In the middle of the road. At night.
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The Month I Ran My Hedge Fund from the Local Chase Bank After Enron went bankrupt in 2001, I decided to start a hedge fund. Until then, I’d spent my entire career at a large company, trading off its balance sheet. I knew how to trade, but knew little about the logistics of launching and running a fund. Plus I had no peers in Houston who could help guide me through the process. I found out-of-town legal help. My clearing broker was a NY investment bank, Smith Barney. I knew I needed two bank accounts: one for the business to pay rent, salaries, etc and one for the investor money that supported the trades. I figured, incorrectly it turned out, that I could stay local for the latter. I figured I needed a national, sophisticated bank so I went to my closest Chase branch and asked to open a business account. They were very accommodating and asked some basic questions. Suffice it to say, they were as new to hedge fund finances as I was. But they were happy to have the new accounts, especially since one would be funded with a 6-figure deposit and the other would eventually be funded with millions. In the spring of 2002, I opened the first account. I used it to pay for normal business expenses: rent, office equipment, legal fees, etc. All was fine. In August, I called my external investors and told them to send their funds to join my personal investment in the fund to the second Chase account, the limited partnership account. They did. Chase confirmed they received the funds and had no problem. Quick aside, energy trades in 2002 could be done on an exchange or over-the-counter directly with a counterparty. Most trades could be executed on exchange and be relatively capital efficient but some instruments only traded directly with counterparties. Today, exchanges clear almost any nat gas product one would want to trade but it was less so back then. I had friends at another trading house, Sempra, who fast-tracked a credit arrangement for me to trade OTC there. I would have to post cash as margin to support my trades given I was not a so-called “credit-worthy counterparty,” but it was fine. I wasn’t planning on taking large net positions given my small capital base, though sometimes I might be long on the exchanges and short to Sempra, or vice versa. I would need to post initial margin and maintenance margin both at my clearing broker and with any direct counterparty to account for the daily price swings at both places. This meant I would have to move money between my prime broker, where I kept my exchange trades, and Sempra, several times a week. The second week of August I started trading. The first thing I needed to do was send more than half of the LP account funds to my prime broker, where most of my trades would be. The neighborhood Chase branch executed this wire with no problem. Trading at first was small. The second week I did my first trade with Sempra. I had to post margin with them. Chase executed that wire with no problem. By the third week my trades were picking up. I ended up long with Sempra and short on the exchanges. When the market went up, I had a surplus at Sempra and would ask them to send me those funds, as the credit agreement allowed to me to do. I needed that money to cover the offsetting exchange losses. Very quickly I was moving hundreds of thousands through my local Chase branch several times a week. Red flags quickly went off at the bank. Suffice it to say, I had not prepared them for this level of activity. The following week the market fell. I needed to send money to Sempra hundreds of thousands of dollars. I told my prime broker to send some of my account surplus there to Chase, and asked Chase to send some of that to Sempra. That’s when my 4 week old hedge fund was hit by an almost fatal blow. Chase accepted the wire from Smith Barney, but I found out the next day that they did not send the wire out. Sempra was calling to ask where the margin money was. I didn’t know. I called Chase and they told me there was a hold on it but it would go out later that day. I checked in the late afternoon. It had not gone out. I was at the bank went it opened the next morning. I explained how I needed this wire to go out. The account had been frozen, they said, until they got a green light from their compliance department. They didn’t properly “know your customer” and froze my account until they could understand what was going on. This level of activity out of a new account of this size was not something this branch had ever seen before. Nor did they understand an energy hedge fund with over-the-counter trades. I was furious they had not explained this the previous day and asked them to just send out this one wire and then we’d sort it out. I’d move to another bank asap. They declined. I pleaded, just send this one. It wasn’t working. I panicked. I had failed to meet my Sempra margin call. They could close my trades. I called Sempra from the bank, explained the issue, and convinced them to give me a 24-hour grace period. But if I didn’t meet my cash call by the next business day, they would close my trades. Then I would be imbalanced on the market with my just my short trades on the exchange. With a sharp market move in the wrong direction, my little hedge fund would have been toast within a month of opening. Throughout this, normal bank customers were flowing in/out of the bank. I told them I wasn’t leaving the bank branch until they sent the wire. It was my money. I started to raise my voice and cause a scene, the best I could. I hoped they would send the wire just to get me to quit disrupting their normal flow of customers. I’m normally a quiet guy but my business, and maybe career, depended on convincing the branch manager to send this wire out. After two hours and a lot of calls with higher-ups, they consented, but they said they had to send a team to my office the next day to inspect my “business.” The office space I had was nothing to fancy, to say the least. The building was fine, an 11-story class A. The office, a sublease, was 3 rooms. Open the door and you were immediately on the “trading floor”, which was one row of desks where the 5 of us sat. It had a small kitchen and a tiny conference room to the side. There were a lot of computers but of course no receptionist, no art, no waiting area, just a handful of 20 or 30 something year olds in shorts (August in Houston) with a football nearby. Chase sent 3 bankers in suits. It was… awkward. I led them to the conference room and tried to explain what we did and why the funds had the velocity they did. They quickly told me that they were not equipped to handle my account and I needed to find another bank by the end of the week. I asked them to facilitate the wires for another couple days until I could, which they agreed to. I called Smith Barney, my broker in NY, and explained the situation. They immediately understood and helped me open a bank account there. In retrospect, I should have had my investment account there from the beginning. I’d already had my business account at the local Chase and figured they were my bank. I had not properly distinguished between local Chase and JPMorgan Chase. I didn’t know any better. As I later learned more about banking regs and KYC rules, I realized the local branch acted exactly as to be expected given the circumstance. It was my fault. Luckily, it got straightened out and I can laugh about it now. I still think about how naive I had been every time I drive by the bank branch.
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
“Elon can’t do what Tata [indian carmaker so unreliable that it has almost zero export market and even indians avoid them] can do” is maybe the most insane statement I have heard in my life
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My bf and I made the mistake of going to an experimental coffee pop-up in NYC. We’d just spent an insane amount of time walking in the pouring rain and we were tired, hungry, and desperately in need of caffeine so decided to pull up. The line was a sea of microbangs and enormous trousers. Everyone looked like they could explain the history of a lamp for 45 minutes without ever mentioning whether it provides light. In retrospect, this should have been sufficient warning that we were about to order some bullshit. In our exhausted state, we ordered the special without bothering to look at the ingredients. This was a stupid oversight, because the special contained espresso, dashi milk, kombu, fermented rice, and fucking FISH FLAKES. In coffee. A beautiful beverage that has enjoyed a dignified existence for ages without the involvement of marine life!!! I’m increasingly convinced this entire subculture is locked in a status-signaling arms race where the ability to enjoy something is actually a mark against it. A normal latte tastes good, which is precisely why it has 0 cultural value. Any idiot can enjoy a latte. To demonstrate that you possess taste and a truly sophisticated palate, you must drink something that tastes like the drainage system of a fish market, maintain a pensive expression, and comment on its “complexity”. Bc why were ppl at the cafe pretending to enjoy ts lmao And the beautiful thing is nobody can call bs. Because the second you admit you don’t like the fishy espresso, you’ve exposed yourself as an uncultured moron incapable of appreciating experimental gastronomy. The entire status hierarchy of this subculture depends on everyone being too terrified of appearing unsophisticated to admit that something tastes like shit. The highest compliment you can pay a drink in these circles isn’t “delicious,” it’s “interesting,” which the universal term for something you suspect you're supposed to admire but would never voluntarily experience twice. So everyone just keeps escalating. Today it’s a fish latte, tomorrow it’s a sardine cortado garnished with a single cigarette ash, and 30 people in those fuckass Tabi shoes will call it some shit like “challenging but rewarding”. Someone will write an essay about how the discomfort is actually the point, etc etc It’s a prisoner’s dilemma sitch. Everyone is pretending to enjoy progressively more repulsive things because nobody wants to be the first person to admit that the emperor is naked and his coffee tastes like a tide pool. Nobody actually wants fish coffee. They want to be the sort of person who has tried fish coffee. The beverage itself is completely incidental to the performance of having taste. The coffee is more of a loyalty test than a beverage. And tbc, nobody forced us to go. We are two grown adults who willingly stood in that line and proceeded with the transaction. We are going to get pumpkin spice lattes now. Ps: Of course it was $37.58 for the two fuckass drinks. Oh NYC.
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Remember when Stop Asian Hate was the only curve flattened in 2 weeks cause they realized Asian hate was just black violence.
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
Replying to @ganeumann
screaming is the sound of no leverage
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
i hate asking asian americans where theyre from because they always do that desperate for attention thing where they huff and loudly proclaim theyre from [insert city in america] when that is indeed what i was actually asking about
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
the fact you are in America posting online about incel terminology instead of cultivating hillside agriculture in Peru is one of the great crimes of modern society
“recessed profile” “looksmatch” “looksmaxx” s+fu, touch grass, and be happy DAMN!!!!!
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
🚨 BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: Ohio mental hospital CONFIRMS James Talarico was discharged from the facility earlier this week The “flu” thing was a BIG FAT LIE Following reporting by @SaraGonzalesTX and @CarolineWren, a hospital employee told @RheinAmacher and I that Talarico had in fact been a patient at the Lindner Center of Hope near Cincinnati, Ohio, which specializes in around-the-clock mental health treatment. While I sympathize with those dealing with mental health crises, this man is CLEARLY not suited to become a US Senator representing over 30 MILLION TEXANS. The job doesn’t get easier after being elected — it only gets MORE stressful. And Talarico clearly can’t handle it. I pray he gets the help he needs, but Texans need a real representative they can rely on.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Lindner Healing Center has refuted this They have made a statement that James Talarico has never received treatment at Lindner Healing Center x.com/lindnerctrhope…
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Nagasaki a couple decades after getting hit by the biggest scariest bomb ever used in combat
Replying to @oomficide
You savages literally destroyed Africa. Do you think centuries of brutal colonization can be undone in some decades?
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Most sub-Saharan African countries experienced European colonial rule for decades following the 1880s Scramble for Africa, not centuries. Colonial powers built extensive railroads and infrastructure across the continent. britannica.com/event/Scramble… cepr.org/voxeu/columns/…
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Lots of having to bang the party boss so your husband or son doesn't get sent to a work camp or get shot, though.
In communism there will be no "couldn't pay the rent" porn
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
If you’re not an American citizen, you’re not a New Yorker. New York is a city in the United States, not an independent nation with its own immigration laws. It’s pretty simple actually.
One thing all New Yorkers can agree on is that neither ICE nor DHS get to decide who is a New Yorker and who is not. Fuck outta here
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Sinceramente no sé cómo Hitler pudo volverse casi tan racista como yo sin acceso al Metro de Madrid
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>I support the death penalty "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" >Jesus supports the death penalty "But what if you get sentenced to death??" >If I ever commit a heinous enough crime, then I should be put down "B-B-But-" >Use a firing squad.
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BTW, I know they will deny it, but my guess is a lot of the death penalty opponents just really want more crime and don’t really care about whether innocent people are murdered or die of overdoses
BTW, I know they will deny it, but my guess is a lot of the death penalty supporters who really want to eliminate appeals and just have immediate executions don't really care about whether innocent people are executed. Justice Scalia, for instance, famously said he didn't care.
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
Replying to @JackPosobiec
Justice Affirming Care™️
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When someone from Ohio moves to NYC: "You are NOT a New Yorker." When someone from an uncontacted Amazon tribe moves to NYC and barbecues a child: "Anyone can be a New Yorker."
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Squirrel Hand LLP retweeted
even worse tokyo is the best city there. i’ve tried really hard to come to any other opinion
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