Fuck it. Russian roulette groceries.

Oh you think I'm funny? Name 3 of my bits.

Live más? En esta economía??

When outfitting your apartment gym, it's important to pick the most obscure, least popular equipment.

I understand anxiety exists to keep you safe, but do I really need to have locker combination nightmares at 31?

Pork Chop O'Clock

Is everything okay? You've hardly touched your existential dread.

Getting wine drunk and leaving all my earthly possessions to a stranger's baby on Instagram.

Idk man my feelings are pretty tasty.

Hey, I'm not sorry I'm late.

Sorry I'm late, I had to squeeze every bump on my body.

Turns out the cure for Sunday scaries is unemployment.

We have to stop putting cream cheese in sushi. It's gone too far.

Dad cap on at the gym because turns out I need blinders like a horse.

Being the eldest daughter has the added responsibility of maintaining the family lore.

Eyeing up the exit row passengers to gauge our chances.

A moment to acknowledge the humble pizza joint salad. You didn't ask to be here, but by god you're doing your best.

If you can't tone it, tat it.

It wouldn't be the holidays if I didn't give myself a Task™️