Carter G. Nahson

Waiting on money all week. It comes. And in an hour, it’s gone on bills and I’m right back to square fucking one.

God please help. I am so lost.

Wow. I really used to be somebody. I was headed somewhere. Now look at me. A fucking shadow.

Life makes sure to remind me every day of how small and insignificant I am. That I’m not powerful and I don’t matter. I’m just here. And I’m not healthy enough to love nobody or be loved. I’m really nothing.

Come spill with a player.

I don’t want to die. There are people who love me and need me. But i just need life to start changing because I’m not happy and not okay and pretty much feel like this everyday.

Never gonna be loved. Never gonna be successful. Just a fucking failure. Fuck this shit.

If this is all it was gonna be, why the FUCK am I alive? This is STUPID.

If you want it, it’ll run from you. That’s my fucking story.

A failure at every fucking thing.

Not healthy enough to be loved by anybody. So yeah. Fuck this shit. I’m good and I’m done. Gotta figure out how to just get the fuck outta here. ASAP. My being here is a mistake and it shows every day.

Worthless. Useless. Why the hell am i here bro? For fucking real.

There’s a hurt, a disappointment, a failure…something every damn day bro. Seriously.

My career projects fail. My ministry failed. My music failed. My marriage failed. My relationships fail. My money is failing. Health sucks. If you fail at everything, then what that make you? Just need to courage to stop this shit show.

I had potential and promise at one point. But looking at my life at 35, almost 36, I don’t see any of that. Just a bunch of brokenness. At every level. I’ve tried. I’ve tried to keep going. What is the point though?

At some point you gotta get real about what you’re worth and what’s possible for you. I’ve realized that there’s a ceiling for me. Something about me that puts people off. That makes people wanna get away from me. Probably gonna mean that I’ll be alone forever. This is a joke

I wake up everyday in the body of the person I hate the most. This shit is exhausting. God please help.

I was supposed to become somebody. What the hell happened?

Always fucking something up. Constantly. I hate being Brent. I hate this motherfucker man. Get me out of here.

I am so lost.