Need a #discgolf sponsor fast before my other half leaves me for spending to much $ @DynamicDiscs I don't need gifts just a piece of paper!

I just entered to win a DSA SA58 FAL Rifle w/ B.R.O. 4x Prism Scope from @ClassicFirearm! Valued At $2400! #sweepstakes #DSArms #DSA #SA58 #FAL #DSAFAL @BravoCompanyUSA #BCM #guncontest #gungiveaway #winagun #winarifle #dreamrifle Enter Here - wn.nr/5Az74W

I made it on the @RocketLeague stream. (Money does buy happiness) Thanks @StumpyGoblin #TheGrid

How thick is the line between serial killer and community service ?

My youngest just did the daddy...daddy....daddy thing for five minutes. I asked him what, and his pressing question was “when I grow up do you think I’ll pass a drug test?” #kidsthesedays

Crazy @XboxSupport gets a little behind on fixing the system and 300 people claim to switch to the @SonyPSCommunity. Be honest you won’t you’re just upset. #NoTearsLeftToCry

Just took an @Uber home and fell flat on my cuss getting out. No it’s not because I drank way to many #carbombs due to being deemed non Essential and #furloughed this month. I was lazy and didn’t scrape the snow Jizz off the sidewalk. Now my cuss hurts in a bad way!

Shiny

When did Winston get traded to the browns?

Who ever is playing with the light switches at the server farm, please stop I need my anti-social apps. @PokemonGoApp #RussianHackers

Hunting for any #trombone player with maximum middle school training. There is a band looking for a incredibly mediocre player. No experience needed!

Wow these shoes have a mirror on the toes!¿!? @SKECHERSUSA adult sizes night sell well huge perverse market

I hope I hit #puberty before my son!

How to be a professional vagrant classes are apparently happening in this patio!

Perfect just perfect

It's just eel, the mushroom of the sea.

That moment when @Starbucks has a long wait and you have to many items. #PokemonGo

I die every time xitter.cf/michaelknight_3/status…

4 the last time lady No means noStop checking my Pokémon out! You aren't even part of #TeamInstinct you're a spy Now let Spark go #freespark