AZ Desert Rat

The History of Animal Twitter — Part 2 🐾 Suddenly, the lioness appeared and became the Lion’s wife. But somehow, they were both cheating on each other while constantly fighting. 💀 Chaos took over the Animal Kingdom. But this was only the beginning. Shortly after, a beautiful white lioness appeared. Every animal fell in love with her. Even the Lion. 🦁 The Lioness was devastated. Meanwhile, Moose continued his drunken activities. 🍺 Then the Honey Badger arrived and, somehow, was elected the new King of the Animal Kingdom. The Gorilla started offering paid services that absolutely nobody wanted. 💀 And the Tiger still couldn’t get over the fact that humans preferred Lions over him. So he turned to his only remaining coping mechanism: eating. And eating. And eating. Until he became extremely fat. 🐯🍔 To be continued…

THE HISTORY OF ANIMAL TWITTER 🐄🐎🐔 Once upon a time, there was a cow and a horse. One day, they decided to make Twitter. Nobody knows why. They just did. And almost immediately, they started arguing. Nobody knew what they were arguing about, but everyone had an opinion. Then rumors started spreading that the cow and the horse had actually been together before. They both denied it. The screenshots said otherwise. And that was the beginning of Animal Twitter. Soon, a lion appeared. He announced that he was looking for 100 wives. Nobody asked why he needed 100. He refused to explain. Then, out of nowhere, a drunk moose entered the timeline. He had absolutely no idea what was happening. He immediately became involved anyway. Then came the gorilla. She wanted to be with every animal on Twitter and genuinely believed every animal was secretly in love with her. Most of them were not. She remained confident. Then there was the chicken. The chicken had one simple philosophy: KFC is delicious. Nobody understood this. Especially the other chickens. Then came the shark. The shark was constantly bullied by dolphins and spent most of his time trying to convince everyone that dolphins were not as innocent as they looked. Nobody believed him. Then came the raccoon. The raccoon had one mission in life: Save cats. He would disappear for days and return with another cat. Nobody knew where he was getting them from. Then there was the alligator. He was extremely embarrassing. Not dangerous. Not intimidating. Just deeply, unbelievably embarrassing. Then came the dog. The dog was… not particularly intelligent. Nobody expected much from him. Then came the bear. The bear had a special talent: Posting embarrassing pictures of other animals. If you had ever done something stupid on Animal Twitter, the bear probably had a screenshot. And he was not afraid to use it. Then came the orca. Everyone thought she was a terrifying killer whale. But the truth was finally revealed: She was actually just a fat water panda. 🐼🌊 Nobody could unsee it. Then two rats appeared. They spent every single day trying to convince everyone that they were the cutest animals on Twitter. They had absolutely no evidence. They didn’t need any. They simply repeated it until they believed it themselves. Meanwhile, the birds had started a war. Nobody remembered what the war was about. There were just too many birds screaming at each other. Some supported one side. Some supported the other. Some had no idea what was happening. They were fighting anyway. And finally… A tiny little chick appeared. Nobody knew where she came from. And that was just the beginning….