Hill.

• Thread of Importance • ❛ I’m the Deputy Director of SHIELD. Lying to the entire world is in the job description, right next to “some overtime required”, which I would like to point out is a s e v e r e understatement. ❜

Softly pokes @WiltingYoung. “How are you, дорогой?”

She’s crawling into bed with a lovely new rainbow blanket to drape over @OfBloodyShadows.

@DoctorWhoKnew Closeness rating: 1/10 Would I hug you: I doubt it Would I kiss you: Probably not Would I date you: No How old do you look: 25 Are we close: Not at all Are you cute: Yeah

@DEVOTEDCAPTAIN Closeness rating: 8/10 Would I hug you: Yes Would I kiss you: Yes Would I date you: Yes How old do you look: Late 20s Are we close: Kind of? Are you cute: Hell yeah

@ritualslcughter Closeness rating: 8.5/10 Would I hug you: Yes Would I kiss you: Yes Would I date you: Absolutely! How old do you look: 30 Are we close: Not as close as she’d like Are you cute: The cutest

@AWalkingWeapon Closeness rating: 5/10 Would I hug you: Yes Would I kiss you: Maybe Would I date you: Probably How old do you look: 40ish Are we close: Not really Are you cute: Yes

Cue the haughty sniffing. "Yes. I'm great friends with Thor and Sif. Not Loki, he's a pain in my ass."

"I'm not alienist. I have alien friends."

"Are you /sure/? How do you know these things, space girl? Do they have space milfs?"

"It could be. If Talia had a child, I'd still be attracted to her for exactly those reasons. Wouldn't that make her a milf?" Honestly, Maria isn't that up to date on modern colloquialisms.

"What about when their body shows strength? Resilience? Sheer power?"

"What's wrong with milfs?"

// So many of the Avengers / SHIELD agents are ex-military, like /damn/. Steve, Sam, Hill, Rhodey, Carol, Bucky, Peggy, Fury...

Throws a paper plane at @CavillatorAvem.