So, get on this.. We've had a stray cat in work for just over 12 years. He lives inside the garage and keeps all the rats at bay. He's a viscous little fucker and isn't fussed on being stroked. One of the lads took him to the vet yesterday coz it had been..

Dubois unreal

Lying in bed, full of pregabs and diazepam, watching the boxing is my idea of a very nice night in.

Get in!!!

Me to me bird at 8.30pm on a friday night

When I say 'Is that a domesticated canine?', but she just looks at me like I've lost the plot

Never despised a man more. Hope he chokes on one of his snide gummies, the punch-drunk, peptide shagging, bellend!

Everyones pulled one of them out after a stripe

Into these dirty cheating bastards. Reds!

When you see even the Asda are charging £2 a litre of Diesel!

You could fit 2 of my cocks in Kerry Katona

Got 3 phone calls yesterday from people telling me my lad was all that Wallasey Gossip page on Facebook. I was ready to chicken him until I found out he'd actually helped some autistic lad by fixing his bike for him. He's a good egg really. Proud of him.

Not arsed how good looking you are, you leave a Richard Widmark on the doorframe and you're getting chickened!

I know I'm a boring cunt, but I fucking love this car - even though it only does 12mpg 😷

Me boss gave me some heavy painkillers for me back, and fuck me, I've felt like I've been on the Bobby. Sat trying to watch a film with me bird and I'm pulling kites like this.

Anyone want Till to get tuned in tonight or? Still undecided on him, me. Don't know if I like him or think he's a fucking beaut 🤣

Why do people in the North End put their Halloween deckys up in September? 😭

Anthony Fowler asking everyone to send him £30 a month so he can finish his swimming pool off hahahahahahhahahahaha

I'll pay ye 30 nicker a month to shut the fuck up!

Nothing surprises me on Lodge Lane at 4am