Mwinsho, off to surprise my wife with a gadget upgrade and a modest cash gift. It's not her birthday. She is such a phenomenal woman who has brought unprecedented stability, direction and luck in my life. Good people deserve good surprises!

Mwisho, it is 2026. Please avoid the unnecessary use or abuse of the word 'apparently'. You are embarrassing your well educated teacher that taught you english at Mufulira Trust School. Anyway apparently I have a flight to catch. We will catch up later.

Mwisho, updating my 'ndiye uyu' picture. The aba nabo image in case I accidentally feature in your conversation mu 2026. Like many other well known, accomplished and prominent individual (s) from Luanshya, I am slowly losing my neck. It is a Luanshya tradition. We take it very seriously BAMUNINANE.

Mwisho, actually one advantage of meeting new people is that all your old clothes become new again. NYUUU!

Mwisho, boat cruise. Anyone? 🎼: L'Ve Ft Dandy Krazy - Ndi Muntufye.

Mwisho, I asked an american friend what he thought about the latest United States military excursion in Latin America. He cheekily responded: 'FAFO'!

Mwisho, a visual illustration of a Luanshya man in his prime with shiny, silky and healthy coarse facial hairs. Once I turn salt and pepper as a dzaddy, it is over for you in Lusaka where you unfairly rank me as a 0.1 instead of the solid 10 that I am in Luanshya. In 20 years, I will be abana Dr. Elijah Muchima. All white.

Mwisho, debating whether or not to ship this free item to Luanshya in preparation for my 2031 campaign as Nkulamashiba Ward councilor. I usually find large and functional electronics such as television sets, microwaves, stoves - even beds and sofas all in very good condition left on the sidewalk for anyone interested to pick up.

Mwisho, manage yourself well and invest in your own personal growth. Otherwise 97% of all unclaimed bodies stuck in Zambian mortuaries are men. These individuals were not born alone. They came from extended families of brothers, sisters, uncles and nephews. Yet at their lowest moments, they die very lonely and painful deaths without any form of identity. And only to be swallowed by the dusty earth in mass burials conducted by strangers. It appears the value a man generates whilst alive also determines his level of passage to the grave. Love yourself more you miserable soul.

Mwisho, don't be too desperate for business ideas. When the devil is idle and has nothing to do in his workshop, he will tempt you to invest your money into motorbikes. Courier and delivery. Since its the latest idea in town. Or ferrying goats to Kasumbalesa for the Congolese to feed. After a month, Mwansa Kabinga will then retreat back to his corner and witness you go into a serious mental breakdown after such a mischievous investment. Preserve your money. There are some businesses you should never pursue.

Mwisho, but how did such a powerful Lusaka businessman go from splashing a jaw dropping K400,000 in one night of extravagant partying and booze to having his critical companies shut down and liquidated on account of debt? In just under 36 months. Our Zambian mentors are failing us. This man was a model businessman. He ends up riddled in corporate scandal and owing NAPSA K20 million. Yoh!

Mwisho, this is alarming. Zambia State Insurance Corporation (ZSIC) has listed one of its finest prime properties for sale in Ndola. Premium Plaza, Ndola's most iconic apartment complex with pan bricks will go under the hammer. An auction house is conducting this sale. This building has 108 apartments on 10 floors and 18 commercial shops. Zambia's largest residential building. The property was initially offloaded on the market in 2022 but halted due to a court process. For a fee of K55 million. And almost Immediately, 20 local and foreign individuals pushed in bids. One with a full cash consideration of K60 million. Only foreign nationals and entities with hostile bottomless budgets will snap up this property. It is now up for sale yet again. In national interest, NAPSA must immediately make an offer and retain ownership of this critical piece of the Copperbelt skyline under taxpayer control. Foreign ownership of this building will result in exploitative rent and create a housing crisis in Ndola.

Mwisho, thank you for the birthday wishes. I am grateful to have such a large network of family and friends. You are very kind people. 🎼: Alice Chuma - Okondewa

Mwisho, today is my birthday. An eventful 30 something years. My own son was also born on this same day decades later. The probability of a father and son sharing the same birthday is a 1 in 1,500 likelihood chance. I move with such precision. It could be a coincidence, divine alignment or just normal biological outcomes.

Mwisho, we have received pay outs as shareholders. Those big and glamorous banks and energy corporations you admire working for have signed our cheques. It is called a dividend. If you can't work for them, you can actually own them. This is not a chilimba, playing kandeke or pomo dimba. It is real and long term self empowerment. You do not need millions to trade on the Lusaka Securities Exchange but you can actually expand your value and worth. You won't even need loans to buy gifts for that girlfriend. But be willing to play the long game. You are only 30 years old, imagine the dividends that will be hitting your account 10 years later. As for my pay out, I have no immediate use for it. I will just admire the zeros it came with.

Mwisho, we grow old too soon and wise too late. Two factors that will exhaust you into near depression in Lusaka - finding true love and locating an affordable roof over your head. Lusaka has a critical mass deficit of 3 million homes in 2025. By 2030, you will be gnashing your teeth. The corporate world with polished shoes and accents is also mopping up ancient residential areas such as Rhodespark, Longacres and Northmead for office space. This has created a distorted property market. A 30M x 20M in Meanwood Ibex is now fetching K800,000. It is only bare land with bana kasokopyo and a few tiny land tunnels built by mice. These sold out in 2017 at K120,000. Whilst a 1 bedroom flat in Chalala is pegged at K3,520.11. Do the math genius, you are in shit. Here is what you should do: Get a slice of traditional Zambian earth in Chongwe, Kafue, kwa Situmbeko or kuma congested 18 miles at only K15,839.27. Development will find you there. Because at the current rate, you and your children may never own land. You will be enslaved to skyrocketing rentals in perpetuity.

Mwisho, the problem is that you like forcing connections and friendships in Lusaka. That is why you are miserable and feel rejected. Some people were just meant to be chapters in your life. Not the real story. Learn to enjoy your own company. You are 35, have some sense and shame. Long time no see is better than aba nabo at the sight of your constant shadow or presence.

Mwisho, life is silencing more people well into their 30's. We all have that one loud friend who just went off the radar into solitude. To rediscover themselves. If you don't know any, you could be the one. This is the kula umone phase your parents speculated about. It is now your turn. Your mum and dad were right about a lot of things. You just thought they were old fashioned. May you win those silent battles you never speak about.

Mwisho, do not be fooled by the illusion of choices driven by the socials, there is nothing much left on the street for you. Life after 30 requires you to seek stability than options. There is always a man doing financially better than your man. And a woman more shaped than a bottle of coca cola - small waist, full bust and wider hips. You won't manage to date them all just because they exist. Those options you think you have, will eventually stress you into misery and being lonely.

Mwisho, time is such a strange concept. So 13 years ago, Chaka Nyanthando and Lota House unleashed this highly acclaimed debut album Mizu. In November, 2012. This is one of the top 5 best Zambian music records ever produced. What a timeless and classic piece of artistic creativity.