Don't say it.

@AndyPanther88 The leading cause of televisions being violently assaulted.

Must have dozed off for a moment there.

Election?

Birthday. No, thank you.

I knew there was something suspicious about all those colourfully wrapped packages.

Unfriendly reminder that donating money to charity based on number of retweets rather than just giving it away is not charity, it's ransom.

JOHN!

I've been informed that it's a crime to behead even willing subjects. "Go figure."

Actually this would be easier with a live subject (or several). Any volunteers?

I'm going to need a corpse and a kitchen knife.

A serial killer who's not killing people.

Three victims hospitalised. Throats slashed *expertly*. Not fatal. As close to fatal as not fatal can get. No one saw a thing.

Traces of stale chemicals.

The kitchen floor is cool.

I've disguised myself as an overheated, out of work detective.

Um.

Molly's swiftness to assist is, at times, slightly overwhelming. Cooler now.

Yes, I could shower, thank you. But that is in a completely different room.