Conor Neill spent years studying why 19 out of 20 speakers lose their audience in the first sentence. 3 best ways to start a speech (worst to unforgettable): 1. 19 out of 20 speakers open the exact same forgettable way. They say their name, where they are from, and what the talk is about. But all of that is already printed on the paper in front of the audience. By repeating what people already know, you send a signal that now is a safe time to check their phone. The opening that feels safest is the one that loses the room. 2. The worst possible start is fumbling with the equipment. How much time do I have? Is this plugged in? Is the mic working? Neill says this happens constantly at conferences, and it is painful because it is often the first time the audience meets this person. They came expecting a leader in the industry, and a kid presenting on giraffes at school would have done a better job. 3. There are only three real ways to start a speech, and Neill ranks them. The same logic applies to walking into a group at a networking event. If you approach three strangers and announce your name, age, and hobbies, they walk away. The opening has to earn attention, not just deliver information. 4. The third best way is a question that matters to the audience. Not a question about you, but one that frames a problem the audience actually faces. It pulls them in because the answer is something they need, which makes them lean in to hear where you go with it. 5. The second best way is a factoid that shocks. Neill's examples: there are more people alive today than have ever died, or the energy reaching Earth from the sun every two minutes equals the entire annual energy usage of humanity, every car, every light, every air conditioner, for a whole year. A fact that forces the audience to rethink something buys you their full attention. 6. Shock facts work even better now because anyone can verify them. Given two or three minutes, the audience can Google whether what you said is true. Neill points out they trust him partly because he looks the part and has the credentials, but the facts hold up under checking. The credibility of a surprising, verifiable claim is what makes it land. 7. The best way to start is the same way you start a story for a child. Once upon a time. When Neill says those words, his daughter leans forward and engages, because we were all trained as kids to recognize when a story is coming. We also learned to recognize when a teacher is about to deliver 40 minutes that will not matter to our lives. 8. There is a grown-up way to say once upon a time. Jack Welch and Steve Jobs do not literally open with a fairytale line, but they signal a story is coming. Listen to the interesting people at a dinner table or the person holding a group of eight at a networking event, and you will hear it. Neill's own version: the last time I was in this room, someone said something to me that changed how I think about speaking. The audience immediately wants to know what was said. 9. The pause is part of the technique. After teasing that someone said something that changed his thinking, Neill can pause for 30 seconds, even two or three minutes, and the audience sits there wanting to know what it was. Creating that gap, and then holding it, is what pulls people to the edge of their seats. The tension does the work. 10. Stories are about people, never about things. If you want to tell a good story about your product, do not talk about the software. Talk about the people who built it, what they sacrificed, what matters to them. All the features and benefits are already in the document and the PowerPoint. What the audience needs is to trust you and care about you as a person, because that is what makes them decide to act. 11. Connect the topic to your own life, because in speaking we assume self-interest. Tell the story of why you joined the company, or the first time you saw someone's life changed by what you do. When you show what quality of life means to you and how your work affects a customer's quality of life, that is where the stories that connect you to the audience come from.

Jeff Bezos reveals the simple phrase that saved him countless arguments running Amazon "Disagree and commit is a really important principle that saves a lot of arguing" "One of my direct reports would want to do something. I'd think it was a bad idea. We'd go back and forth and I'd often say, you know what, I don't think you're right, but I'm going to gamble with you" "You're closer to the ground truth than I am. I've known you for 20 years, you have great judgment" "At least then you've made a decision and I'm agreeing to commit to that decision. I'm not going to be second guessing it, sniping at it, or saying I told you so" "I'm going to try actively to help make sure it works. That's a really important teammate behavior"