SepticGiant

If you're starting off and want to make sense of my tweets, you might want to track back a few first. Unless you're The Pesky Illuminati :(

I must go down to the cow shed again. To top-up my fake tan.

Correction to yesterday's tweet: Druid hasn't made my chicken immortal. I can't hug it to death as often as I want after all. :(

SUCCESS! Mad Scientist has cloned my dead chicken, and Druid has made it immortal! I can now hug it to death as many times as I like! :)

"I can clone your dead chicken!" said Mad Scientist. "And I can make it immortal!" declared Druid. "BOOOOYAAAAH!" I screamed - too loudly.

"Can you clone a dead chicken?" I asked Mad Scientist. "Yes, but why? There's loads across the road." "That figures." I said. Acrimoniously

..."What does Goblin sound like as a language?" I hear you ask. Well, like you're eating food really fast. Obviously.

Turns out the Mad Scientist was speaking Yiddish to check if I was a real giant, as all giants can speak it - as well as Cornish & Goblin...

“So!” says I to Mad Scientist, “ You reckon you can clone a GIANT?!” … “אויב איך קענען קלאָון אַ הינדל, דעמאָלט יאָ” he retorts in Yiddish.

Druid introduced me to Mad Scientist today. He was wearing flip-flops and shorts - in THIS weather! He really is off his rocker.

I've hung the horse shoe on the wall, next to the slightly smaller sphincter muscle it removed. No point sitting around at a time like this.

After my horse shoe rupture yesterday, I spent a quiet day with "Cryptic Badger", who Druid assured me could talk. Well Druid, he can't.

Hi - it's Druid here. Giant recommends you don't swallow a horse leg with the shoe still on. Unless you want your anus ripped clean off.

So, Druid IS selling my leeched blood to a mad scientist so that he can clone me. AWESOME!!!

I asked Druid why she changed my leeches and joked that she sold them to a mad scientist who would clone me from my blood! Awkward moment.

Druid has advised a note to self: If you really love a chicken, don't hug it too hard and then nail it to a wall. 😐

I likes free-range eggs, so I took the chicken off the wall and stuck it in an empty barrel. Didn't move... DAMNED ILLUMINATI !!! 😐

The leeches have helped and I was able to get on a bus today. Still fell off when it pulled away mind. 😐

CHICKEN'S BACK! I was so happy I hugged it and resolved to never let it go again. It's nailed to the wall next to Fox. Looks funny! :-D

Social Worker came back today. Druid was busy adding new leeches to my ankle, which seemed enough to satisfy her. She left real quick.