Sustainability Projects. Stormblessed Lightwielder. My tweets are mine. Seat of Kings
Joined January 2019
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F.O.B.S. retweeted
I promise you, there used to be a time…
The nation is poor and bleeding.
About ten years ago, once it’s November, you’d begin to smell Christmas on the streets, in the local shops, in churches, even in schools.
A lot has been stolen from us, basic things now feel like luxury.
F.O.B.S. retweeted
200l i dey freshers hostel when
my sis send me 10k after i never chop for days, network no gree am enter until 12am 😭
na my last energy i use buy 6 rite and big sosa from that b wing shop, as i begin chop i no know when i pass out 😭🤣🤣🤣 my body enter shock as e detect sugar
F.O.B.S. retweeted
“Your mother was quite the talented Potions Witch, Harry. She could brew anything from Wolfsbane to meth. It was truly a sight to behold”
“WHAT?!”
“Well, how did you think they kept me in check during the full moon?” Lupin replied calmly. “The Potions professor in our era was nowhere near as good as Snape is today, so I had to get my Wolfsbane from somewhere.”
“NO, I MEAN THE METH THING!” Harry shouted. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY MOTHER COOKED METH?!”
“Well, she didn't at first. But the Order was running out of money during the war, and we needed a way to convince the residents of Knockturn Alley not to side with Voldemort. Your mother provided a solution.”
Lupin nodded thoughtfully.
“She introduced us to a wonderful Muggle substance called meth. We had Mundungus deal it in Knockturn Alley. It made us enough money to last through the war, and the residents agreed not to side with Voldemort as long as we kept supplying them.”
“I—WHAT—WAIT—MY MOTHER WAS—HOW DID SHE EVEN—WHAT?!”
“Oh, don't worry, Harry. She stopped cooking after she became pregnant with you. For your health, she said.” Lupin tried to placate him.
Harry stared at him, utterly speechless.
“...Of course, it turned out that Voldemort had been buying from her supply. When she stopped, he went on a rampage trying to get his fix. He even broke into your parents' house in a fit of withdrawal, hoping to force her to cook for him again.”
Lupin paused.
“Unfortunately, he ended up killing her by accident.”
“...”
“...Did nobody tell you about this?”
F.O.B.S. retweeted
Ok now this is getting fvking crazy. Presken Villa is saying they won’t refund me that they want to find another branch for me to go. This night!!!!!! No refund policy for something I already booked!!! And you collected my money!!!!!
And is there anything stating that it doesn't have a suction pump and an onboard compressor to refill the canisters during the drive?
I hate to be the one to burst the Tesla bubble today, but the spectacular “flight” we witnessed at the Roadster reveal needs a little context. The car is carrying around 250kg of compressed air, plus the weight of the tanks, valves and thrusters needed to contain and release it.
Based on the published figures, that gives it roughly 1.5–2 seconds of maximum thrust before the system needs to be refilled.
In short, it's a gimmick.
F.O.B.S. retweeted
PART TWO.
To make matters worse, I checked the weather forecast before I left Nigeria and it said it was going to be warm and sunny, so I packed warm.
Big mistake. As we comot for airport, the cold first gimme uppercut. I quickly opened my luggage and put on 2 singlets, 3 T-shirts, 1 office shirt and a cardigan ontop. Didn’t stop shit.
Anyway, fast forward to day 1 at GITEX.
We got there and I found out that the company actually paid for a booth.
A lot of money in dollars. I was like hmm, make I Dey watch this film, e suppose sweet.
I come ask say abeg o, wetin we Dey really exhibit for this exhibition.
I was then told that I should market the company’s newest and biggest product yet; a satellite (not bigger than that MTN 5G carton) that can provide data all the way from space.
A SATELLITE???🤣🤣🤣
“Designed to rival Starlink but more affordable. 300 thousand units will be sent into space. We will partner with Space X and NASA for the launches”
Wey data center and radio station wey Dey for ground never work??? 🤣🤣
Remember the robotics guy? He travelled down with a 3D printer.
I quickly swung into action. Use your mouth to sell a product they can’t see cos it doesn’t f*king exist and give them a show while at it.
So, what did I do? I set up the 3D printer to start printing a model of the largest and most popular mosque in Marrakech.
That stunt pulled a looooot of people towards the booth and I kept selling this damn satellite 😭
No question wey those Arabs, Whites and other Africans no ask me. How would they be sent up? Rocket.
Their brain just Dey burst.
I must have spoken to at least 200 people per day over the course of the exhibition.
I went and introduced myself to some of the Nigerian founders I met over there and they kept looking at me funny. I no know say that company tag be like shit for my neck. Dem don shit for church like mad and I come Dey Morocco Dey represent them. Even the 3 interviews wey I do, I had to beg the media guys to not put me on their tv stations 🤣
Met big politicians and exchanged contacts with big personalities from across the world who all wanted to be part of the satellite project.
We kept waiting for money o. Luckily, I was with my Providus card and so, when they eventually sent the money to my account, I first comot my salary for that month 🤣🤣🤣🤣
We got back home.
The CEO (not founder) who was also promised heaven and earth used almost 14m of his personal money to buy computers for the “AI agents”
My guy, the CD had brought in a really good tech babe and they gave her a new MacBook Pro (with big screen).
Na she first run after dem no pay am for that month.
The AI agents started rebelling on the group they created themselves and added me to guide them.
One by one, they left the group.
One of the tech bros was fired because he refused to come to work after not being paid for 2 months. He say e no get transport fare 🤣
CEO come resign carry him laptop, na so police enter the matter say him embezzle 30 million naira.
Him come start Dey threaten the tech babe say make she return the laptop because he bought it with his own personal money.
Just when I was about to resign, dem say dem wan send us go Abu Dhabi for global tech conference.
Mo ya sa lo.
Maybe I should tell you guys the story of how I was poached by this AI company to be their Head of Marketing.
Offer… 3M p/m.
What would I be marketing?
An AI data center and and the first fully AI radio station in the world.
Oya, where the data center? “The equipment is on its way.”
How far the radio station?
“The transmitter and license one thing one thing. Don’t worry, keep doing the background work so that when we’re ready to go live…”
Oya now.
Month 1, I no see budget. Dem no on radio. Data center still dey empty but dem buy bicycles for the company. Dem say funding Dey come from the US “anytime from now.”
Okay na.
Salary day reach. Nothing about salary. They said they were working on opening the company account.
I was so confused.
A month and a half don pass. I don drive go island 3 times a week. Na so I stop to Dey go.
All of a sudden, founder calls a meeting and goes on about how we’re not showing the right attitude to work.
I confuse again.
I had to go read my employment letter again, make e no be say I sign to work for free 😂
Dem say salary go drop the next day but make I please accept a renegotiation. Dem reduce 3M to 1M. 😂
I like the project. Oya, bring!
I come give them conditions.
Employ CTO, employ CD. I don do strategy, GTM… everything. Give me sth to market ffs.
Dem say make I recommend. I brought my guy on board as CD. He then employed his own creative team.
One random day, I got to the office and saw like 25 new faces and cubicles.
Ahn ahn, wetin Dey sup? Dem say dem don employ “AI Agents”.
I confuse again.
One week later, these guys haven’t done jack. I asked what was going on and they said they were waiting for ME TO ACTIVATE THEM.
I first burst laugh. Activate you on what? With what? To do exactly what?
Next thing, CEO say dem Dey send me, business lead and our robotics guy (that hadn’t done a single thing for 4 months) go Morocco for GITEX.)
I didn’t even know we had a robotics team. Wetin dem Dey do? 🤣🤣🤣
Anyway, free trip? Bring!
We reach Morocco, dem no send money for hotel or food. I say I don die 🤣🤣🤣
Hotel hold our passport for 4 days 🤣
Saxophone never even loud at this point😭
I Dey come. Make I chop first.
