Sarah

Listening to my mom arguing about politics is kind of like listening to a cat argue about quantum physics.

You go from guy to guy and always talking trash, but you want your daughters to grow up to be strong women. But that's none of my business..

Trying to practice for lab check off and my 'patient' aka coworker is being an a-hole. #cooperate #Iwillkillyou

If I pop an attitude w you, I'm probably just hungry. Giving me a snack is the only appropriate response to my saltiness. 🍕

When your lab instructor is also your coworker >>>>>

Brain: 3 hours of sleep is enough. Wake up and think about life. *Kevin heart voice*** noooooooo 😭

I hate when there are crunchy things in food that shouldn't be crunchy. Aaaaaaand I'm done with lunch! 😳😳

I suffer from the kind of loneliness where there's always a strip of sunburn on my back where I can't reach.

I'd like to give everyone that gloats about their grades a swift kick to the left tit. Stop it. 🙄

Me to my sister: "You're just fertile." 4 yo niece: "Where's a turtle??"

Slow blinking at my stats professor rn. Send help. @Jenna_Marbles

I laugh at my own jokes and I don't apologize for it. I'm hilarious.

"I can be late for a date, that's fine, but you better be on time..." NO @ShaniaTwain CALM DOWN WITH THOSE DOUBLE STANDARDS 😂

I can leave my house without my family worrying that I'll be gunned down because of the pigment of my complexion. #checkyourprivilege

I did the most college-y thing I think I've ever done -- I bought a $100 calculator and a bag of pizza rolls this morning. 🍕📉

If scream singing songs from Mulan first thing in the morning is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

I apologize to the people that I'm comfortable around. I never shut up and am kind of a troll 👹 #sorryactuallynotsorry

I need this class to graduate. I need this class to graduate. I need this class to graduate. I need this class to graduate.

Sometimes I submit papers w/ out proofreading them first. Like, I could've accidentally (on purpose) written 'dicks' in there...