The only time I’m a nimby guy is at a concert

Just got a mothers day gift idea email from @Dyson 😑

The former girl of my dreams walked out on her bill

I used to be punk rock and now I have a 3% cash back Costco Mastercard

Gonna go out on a limb here but Everything Everywhere All at Once > Crazy Rich Asians

Why does it feel like every Uber driver has either never driven before or they’ve worked years in espionage?

New word: Edmosis Random words integrating into your vocabulary just by living in #Edmonton. See: Wicked

I’ve been in #Edmonton for 4 months and I’m in the market for a truck and a degenerate sports gambler now. Life moves fast.

😳👀😍🇵🇰🥰👀😳

Surprised that the corporate fat cats haven’t fucked with apples so they don’t last as long. #BigApple #BigFruit

Just need someone that looks like me to do something substantial so I can get paid as their lookalike.

I woke up today and the compass app was open on my phone and I really hope that’s how I got home last night

Nailed it

Just realized that Facebook is J. Peterman and everyone in the world is Kramer

Live look at #FarkNo

#yycvote day. #FarkNo

Farkno.ca #FarkaswillFuckus

Party Killers for the Ethical Treatment of Animals

🥲