@SandyDanto

Female Comedian.

 Los Angeles, CA
Joined January 2009
  • Tweets12.1K
  • Following1.4K
  • Followers5.1K
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My album, Daddy Boy, is streaming exclusively on @Pandoramusic right now! Click the link to listen entirely for free and on demand 800PGR.lnk.to/SandyDantoTP
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Haven’t dated since high school. Are handjobs still a thing?
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Hoping the 12th year of my 30s is the best one yet!
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Santa’s Danto retweeted
Blake Anderson
@UncleBlazer23 Jun 2025
Detroit a trade away from the finals TBH
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Seattle! Come see me Sunday 1/19! ticketweb.com/event/sandy-da…
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Santa’s Danto retweeted
OFTV
@watchOFTV23 Dec 2024
Got a soft spot for hard laughs? 🤗🤣 Bite into an all-new #LMAOF with @JadeCattaPreta and @SandyDanto! 📺 Watch ad-free: of.tv/LMAOF71
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Usher giving 200,000 herpes
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You have to love a Jesus commercial set to a song by a guy who died from choking himself while jerking off
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I’m an angry boy with a silly streak
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I have to lose a ton of weight fast! Since SAG is on strike they want me to star in all the movies all the big movie stars refuse to work on
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Watch out for me in 2 Fast 11 Furious
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Watch out for me in Top Gun 3 and Ant Man 4
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I know I’m getting old, not because my I need a hip replacement, but because I get so much joy from gardening
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Men should only own one pair of pants. It’s all you need. Owning more than one pair of pants is feminine.
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Santa’s Danto retweeted
ian karmel@IanKarmel12 Jul 2023
Keep an eye out for the new Anta-Semitics.
Shams Charania
@ShamsCharania12 Jul 2023
Mavericks’ Kyrie Irving has signed a five-year endorsement deal with Chinese sportswear brand ANTA, plus the unique position of Chief Creative Officer at the company, industry sources told @TheAthletic @Stadium. Irving’s management company, A11Even, negotiated the deal.
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Threads hasn’t arrived until it’s the dominant source of screenshot memes
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Anyone else think it lacks empathy for pregnant women to eat eggs?
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Is Threads what those nerds meant when they said they were gonna fight in a cage match?
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Looking for a billionaire to spoil me with lavish gifts on account of how I’m so judgey
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I wonder if the potential heirs to the billionaires’ fortunes expressed skepticism about the safety of the trip or…. were they… nah never mind
ericanders.bsky.social@MrEAnders20 Jun 2023
Absolutely speechless that David Pogue, the CBS journalist who went on the missing Titanic sub last year, WITNESSED IT GET LOST FOR HOURS WITH NO LOCATOR BEACON AND DECIDED NOT TO MENTION THAT IN HIS REPORT
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