@Sam_Colavito4

🇮🇹

 Palmer Heights, PA
Joined January 2015
  • Tweets1.8K
  • Following96
  • Followers93
8Media
She sent me $25 for lunch. I put that shit on Jaxon Smith-Njigba to score a touchdown. I’ll eat at my gma house
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u dont really hear about construction paper much anymore
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Got your laptop out at the airport bar have you? Sending a little email or two eh? I bet you must be very important back home. Colour me impressed buddy
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Lying about my birthday at chilis, getting caught, then escalating into a suicide by cop situation
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It’s so embarrassing when people ask you why you look so sad and you have to make something up bc it’s actually bc your favorite sports team lost a sports game
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Man. Another losing parlay. 5-6 unrelated things go differently though and I would have been COOKING.
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Sam retweeted
yev
@itisyevSep 11
Cavemen after they invented the spear:
Clavicular
@clavicularSep 11
I cant fucking do this clubbing anymore, cant stand it. Im done.
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if Pharrell released “Happy” today we would have whooped his ass
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You ever laid next to a person & felt nothing ? Like damn I'm bullshiting
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how long after sex is it appropriate to do a fantasy mock draft
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Sam retweeted
mor
@moristikoAug 20
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i wonder how many times i've died on fuck marry kill
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found one dead ant high up in the cabinet i keep the honey bottle in. no other ants to be found. made it up to the goldmine and died without telling nobody. born to be a skeleton in an indiana jones temple
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Meg@heirmegAug 4
at marshalls, who need a true religion portable charger
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🦂@mrelikesosaAug 3
i spend money on “thank u baby” and “u didnt have to” typa women not them “as u should” ass bitches
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GUELZ@Gue1zaJul 24
No way my coworker just started stimming and said ᶜʰᵃˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒⁿᵉʸ ᶜʰᵃˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐᵒⁿᵉʸ
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Apparently, you’re not supposed to comment “nightmare blunt rotation” on your ex’s Instagram with a picture of her husband and new baby
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