Imagine carbonated mouthwash

What sane person would "hit the club" with jeans and furry boots on?

Power outage before finals week. What a twist.

It's incredible to me, after all this time, Apple maps is still useless.

If you yell at students for being wrong, you can't complain about no one wanting to answer your questions... Looking at you UW Econ dept...

It's February, 57 degrees, and you are pasty white. Put that shirt back on.

I am 99% sure I just saw Ken Jennings walking down 20th Ave...

I don't understand why someone would wear a medical/health mask but not cover their nose...

"Ever since I got into my major I don't really give a s*** about class." -some dope bro on campus

PSA to all businesses: Stop using cursive in your logos. No one born in the 90's and on can read it.

And just like that, I am a senior...

In a week and a half I've eaten 3lbs of almonds. #FeelingNutty

I are A LOT of Tums and now my stomach hurts... What do I do?

Breaking News: The new Apple OSX will be called OSX Cloaca because the updated MacBook only has one hole.

Thanks Obama.... No seriously, thank you. #FreedomAct

I can't be the only one who tries to go as long as possible without talking after I wake up.

#cake = pound cake.

Whenever I see a #, I read "hashtag" in my head.

Listening all the way through American Idiot while working on a new investment deck. So much middle-school angst. #ThrowbackThursday