“Ah, finally it’s gotten to the good part.” “Master! Harry Potter is distracted by Malfoid! Now is the time to strike him down!” “Shhh. At last, they’re having a heart to heart. She loved him but didn’t know how to express it beyond teasing. He couldn’t see past the low hanging fruit to the true prize right in front of him.” “But my Lord!” “Shhhh. You see? She confessed her love. Oh, Harry, now would be the perfect time to kiss h- oh you absolute chad.” “….” “Yes, now hug her tight to show her how much she means to you. Attaboy. Ahhh, perfection.”

"There's something you need to know about wooing a girl, Harry. It's a lot like breaking in a wild young hippogriff." "How so?" "Women and hippogriffs are both proud and easily offended but sometimes you just gotta walk right up to them, grab them by the scruff of their necks, and wrestle them into submission. Oh, they might claw you real good if you're not careful but they love it, trust me." "Do you have a girlfriend, Hagrid?" "No."