Paper straws make all your drinks taste like homework 😒

Im back to content! check back in on tiktok & yt

I'm back on twitter, fuck him i'm not calling it X lol #SamRidleyComedy #SamRidleyEntertainment

i forgot this existed

When I am on the road doing comedy, the only place I will take a whole 💩 is @Target. Exclusively 🤌🏾

Ladies, rappers would probably have more to talk about than 😻 if you groupie hoes gave em more than 😻 Just a theory 🤷🏾‍♂️

Real talk, @phontigallo and @RapperBigPooh probably got me through a tough night. Tried listening to a lot of different things to process upcoming loss, and nothing but The Minstrel Show got me where I needed to be mentally. Thank you for this piece of art. 🙏🏾

Riri done got her lil Um ba rella nut in again.. 😒😫 #RihannaSuperBowl

JESUS! Somebody please give this woman a free bag of concrete! I'll help redo her driveway with this fresh Mojave gold! SHIT 🤣 GO TO THESE PUBLIC MEETINGS! Hilarious free entertainment. Fan of @Perez4assembly for life. Finna send her campaign a dollar. Lol #kerncounty

Tired of seeing bitter men that didn't get pussy in high school grow up to be politicians to tell women what to do with their bodies. Gross

Beyonce is a restaurant that was bomb and lost they liquor license. So they closed, rebranded, and turned it into a bistro.

McDonald's chicken nuggets are made of breading and squirrel memories

Twas the night before nigmas...

My favorite Ray Liotta film was Chantix

The Sex and the City theme is damn near the same as Crash Bandicoot music. #ProveMeWrong #SexAndTheCity #CrashBandicoot

They lingerie be better than the pussy sometimes 🤣

DJ Khaled should be allowed to have 2 stars on the Hollywood walk of fame. Think about it...

Damn, who knew Will Smith would be THAT MAD about someone bringing up Shark Tale #willsmithchrisrock

We could've deaded this whole "is it squirt or pee" argument a long time ago with one piece of Asparagus

Starting the Woman in the house across the street from the window by the trash can adjacent to the fire hydrant that faces the Burger King on the corner by the 7-11 with the hooker out front that washed her ass in the bathroom sink.