Will Jacobs

Killer news, fam! My friends surprised me last night with a heartfelt letter-reading party and are now sending me upstate for a 28 day NO DRINKING CHALLENGE

if you're gonna get mad at me for having my zoom camera off, you can't also get mad at me when i turn it on and i'm wearing my guy fawkes mask

"comparison is the thief of joy" yeah not if you compare yourself to fucking losers!!! I feel GOOD

If it ever changes we know what happened @bransonreese

How do I signal to other passengers on my plane that I have my Magic: The Gathering decks on me and am down to duel?

Scooby Doo and the Mystery of How to Narcan Shaggy

referring to my dearest loved ones as my "side characters"

me and the boys out here prank calling the new england journal of medicine

was feeling pretty bleak but then saw people posting "I got your back" messages on the TL, total gamechanger

don't worry, currently writing a webseries that will combat all of this

look at you, you've gone and ruined my best SpaceGodzilla t-shirt

The Artichoke pizza at JFK has this nightmarish painting of the Kennedy boys hanging and I'm all about it

might I say, respectfully, that you look fucking busted today

ordering a diet coke with tajín on the rim