It’s not always clear that this is a parody account but @SW_Help it’s very clear that you run a parody rail service. It’s absolute carnage this morning. How did you run a good service before reduced passenger numbers? I remember now, you didn’t.

Our business process that we use to take your money is the one we are most proud of. But we can’t even get that right today - all the ticketing machines at Basingstoke are down.

What a joke we are - there is no longer a mass commute into London but we still insist on having peak ticket prices!

I’m proud to report that even although we are running reduced services, the remaining ones are still late. That’s us. Late. Consistently.

Passenger numbers are reduced, but trains are still running late. Check if your train was late and by how many minutes at raildelay.co.uk

In a few hours time I’ll be attempting the first SWR train in 18 months into London. I expect it will be a breeze with all that down time being used to improve the service.

Ditto!

I must apologise to my followers. Since the onset of the pandemic I’ve not been commuting. Would me complaining about the conditions at home keep you entertained?

I can't stop watching this!

As often as we clean our trains.

An imaginary one. We never have free seats.

We hope that you are enjoying the small price increase which now allows you to spend between 50 and 100% more time on each journey!

.@SirPeterHendy Do you think the level of service provided South Western Railways @SW_Help is acceptable? Can you tell us why you block unhappy rail customers?

We’re working on our 2020 strategy and have determined that we’re not even qualified to run a bath.

We need to be punished. Severely. Please sign this petition.