We can’t let Iraq get a nuclear weapon!!! Stop complaining!!

Trying not to let doubt creep in about trusting the plan, guys… but it’s not really looking good. Not to be negative

Fellow PatriotS, please remember it’s our sacred duty as Americans to vote in the midterms. It’s the most important election in our lifetimeS

Wild 40 degree temperature swings in the middle of September that have never happened before are normal and in no way indicative of weather manipulation.

How did Captain Nemo travel 20,000 leagues under the sea, which is 60,000 miles, twice the circumference of the earth, if earth is round? Checkmate, sphere cucks

Ain’t it funny how the night moves….. with autumn closing in (night sounds)

Willie Tepes likes your tweet

Sorry about my tweets, I’m from a different time on here where it was called Twitter and we liked to laugh and joke around

I found out simultaneously that Dolly Parton was dead when the news came on the radio and my wife said “you know her tits were fake?” I was devastated. A double whammy

So I missed 9/11? 9/11 just isn’t the same without Toby Keith

In my Ocean Pacific board shorts, air guitaring around the fire to Lynyrd Skynyrd with my shirt off. I am The Florida Man of Pennsylvania

My bunkers gonna have a tunnel out to above the creek. You fucking people don’t know what’s coming. Pauley Shore was right.

Confession time - I’ve been hand digging a bunker under my new garage since last October. Laugh now but I’ll be the present day underground Noah some day.

I think “He’s shaped more like Mr. T from A -Team but acts like face man when he’s drunk” is the best way to describe me

The extended version of Green Grass & High Tides is reverberating off the houses in the neighborhood while I’m air guitaring with my shirt off

I HATE YOU TOO BITCH! CALL THE COPS! IMA KILL YOU AND THOSE LOUD ASSED MOTHER FUCKING BARKING DOGS!!

Yeah I know what time it is! It’s Peanut butter Jelly time you stupid bitch, and I’m not turning the fucking music down!!!

Big Head Todd & The Monsters is a very underrated band. In my opinion