Hey I’m on tour beacons.ai/ryangoodcase

I would like to show my support for ICE by offering all agents free tickets to my show To qualify, please send me your full name, home address, and a picture of your face (no mask)

I just had a vision of myself at 80 years old scrolling through my phone’s contacts, each one being a friend or family member who has already passed away. I come across the contact “Emily Tinder”. The last text, sent several decades ago, is “u up?”. I text, “U alive?”

Macklin getting the hat trick, and the Sharks winning 3-2… that’s incredible . That’s gotta be called a Celebrini, right? Winning the game with a hat trick and you’re the only goal scorer ?

I’m afraid that when you read a novel, you imagine the scenes from a single cam sitcom perspective; whereas I, an intellectual, am implementing Kubrickian close-ups, Scorsese tracking shots, Noe birds-eye views, etc, etc

HIM does not deserve the panning it’s getting from the critics. Certainly not a perfect movie, but a unique one. Stands out to me amongst all the rehashed ideas and remakes.

Sitting is the new smoking ? Then I will not let my son sit until he is 21 If I catch him sitting in a chair before then, I’ll make him sit in every chair of the house

The band Twenty-One Pilots has been arrested for plotting ten and a half 9/11s

Is this an argument for Gretzky > Ovi?

Has there ever been a comedian “before their time”?

Are we about to go to war #FourNations

I have a participation kink. Just happy to be here

Nardwuar interviewing P Diddy but each item is just a piece of implicating evidence

Would love to meet the first guy to lose his virginity in the back of a Cybertruck