I'm seeing a lot of misinformation and straight up lies about me right now and a lot of confusion so one last tell-all before I'm gone for good. I didn't expect my tweet to blow up like it did, I retired like 6 months ago and this tweet was meant to just be some closure for me personally where I reflected on my 4 years in/around apex as a whole. I expected it to *maybe* get like 50 likes, but here we are. I got dropped from OBVN pretty abruptly after champs. It didn't make much sense to me then but I didn't make a fuss, I knew they never really wanted a coach in the first place and they were great to work with for my full time with them & I'm still very grateful for the opportunity. With that said, after I got dropped there were some... Interesting rumours circulating that just weren't true at all. People say I had nothing prepped and didn't say anything on Finals day. It's true I was quiet that day, but not because I was there to "just aura farm" (insane ass rumour btw, who tf started that). I was quiet because I was sick as fuck and probably shouldn't have even been there that day. I had an insane fever, I could barely stand up for most of the set and everything past 10ft in front of me was a blur. I was carried through the latter half of that day by pure adrenaline and I tried my best, but when the day was over and I got back to the hotel to drop off my bags, I collapsed and was bedridden for three days. I didn't go to the after-party, I didn't hang out with any of my friends around Sapporo, I could barely even walk to the bathroom. The team all know this, I mentioned this to them in the group chat after the event and in the call when I was dropped, so I have absolutely no idea where this rumour even came from. Even still, people spreading that rumour and discrediting my entire career because of one day where I was less effective proves my point that my work was taken for granted the entire time I was in the scene. I worked 12 hour days, 7 days a week for months (no exaggeration) studying teams' macro timings & tendencies to help shape our own macro. I tried setting up times to get into customs with the guys to prep stuff, but Mon went ahead and did it without me by himself, which is now being used to discredit me further. Saudi taking over definitely contributed to my decision to retire, but more than anything it was simply because when I was LFT, there were no spots open for me to fill on other teams and no money in the scene for me to be able to pay my bills. That, on top of all of the misogyny and transphobia I've had to deal with across my time in eSports (especially after champs) just made it so I wanted to get a normal job that actually paid me and move on. I've been trying to move on the entire time, but things keep happening behind the scenes that keep me in limbo and stop me from truly leaving. This is the last time I get roped back in. I'm done. I'm also done protecting other people's secrets while I get slandered and insulted. Monsoon and Blinkzrr are withholding a combined $15,000 from my champs cut citing "taxes." Mon in particular led me on the entire time he was doing this by insisting he "had" to do it because there was no way for him to not get taxed on my cut and he didn't want to just tank 7k that didn't even end up in my pocket. I've since come to learn that this is an Andrew Tate tactic. The gaslighting stopped when I found out that Contractor Fees can get written off your taxes, so both of them *could* have paid me in full and not had to tank the tax on it (to my understanding). When I told both of them this, they started ghosting me completely. I'm now having to scramble to find 9kUSD by April so my partner and I can still qualify for a Visa, something we wouldn't have to do if they'd have just paid me like we agreed on. For the record, Fun paid me in full as agreed, no questions asked, and is still a good friend. He's always done right by me and I truly wish him the best in everything.

I'm going dark on this account. Anyone who's supported me over the years probably already knows I've always been a bit hit and miss with my presence online, but I've come to the conclusion that I just don't want to be in online spaces anymore, and so this break I've been on is becoming indefinite. The last few years around the Apex community have given me some of the highest highs and some of the lowest lows I'll probably ever experience in my life. Winning champs will be something I carry forward with me forever, but the fallout from that event and the rather abrupt end to my career will also be a chip on my shoulder for a long while. I know I had so much more to give, and call me egotistical but I truly believe I could have been consistently one of the best coaches in the scene, but I suppose it wasn't meant to be. It is what it is and I have to move on. This game has also given me some of the most important people in my life. I met my partner through my work in Apex and I met my closest friends through this scene, some of whom will stick with me for the rest of my life I'm sure. As always happens though, I've gone through a lot of personal betrayal with people in this scene. People I thought I could trust with my soul ended up being manipulative, abusive or just generally two faced and deceitful. I've faced a lot of hardship because of some people I met in this game and as much as I'd love to forget it all ever happened, those experiences have made me the person I am today. This game changed me forever, in good ways and bad, but I'm ready to move on. I'm ready to leave this chapter of my life behind me as looking backwards at this point causes me nothing but grief. Hopefully one day that will change and I can look back on what I accomplished with pride, but that day seems pretty distant currently. Thank you to all of the people that actually, legitimately believed in me throughout my career and stood by me when things were rough. You guys are the real ones, and you know who you are. Most importantly, thank you to the friends that kept me sane and always did right by me. My day's always brighter when you're around and you'll always have a place in my heart. Lastly, to anyone out there that wants any kind of advice for making a career in eSports or really any online space, I have one big piece to give. People will try to take advantage of you and you must stay vigilant. Any work you do will be taken for granted and you must learn to know your own value. Do not give your trust to those who have not personally earned it, and especially do not give that trust to the people that beg for it or demand it. Only trust those who have done right by you already, or you will soon regret giving that trust so freely. Peace and love. Remember to take care of yourselves and surround yourself with the people that care about you. Signing off. -RubyKaster

Lmao. Game's dead, pack it up.

had multiple replies under my tweets, comments on the compapex reddit post of us winning and comments in YT/Twitch streams. The few days after LAN was kinda rough on my mental icl, especially when almost no teams expressed interest in picking me up after I went LFT after literally winning LAN. All that on top of all the people complaining I was "hogging the spotlight" or whatever when lifting the trophy as if I wasn't a part of the team just felt like I couldn't win and everything about me was some kind of scandal. I was getting insanely personal "critique" about my personality while also not being worth discussing at all or being worthy of any praise for winning champs. Super paradoxical and one of the main reasons I just decided to retire. Hopefully one day I can put it all behind me and be proud of winning with the boys but since I got home, my medal's been sitting in a drawer because looking at it just reminds me of how the community treated me and how my career just ended kinda abruptly after that LAN.

When I won world championships, I got called a "placeholder coach" and several people confidently said I was just one of the players' girlfriends. We just cannot win I swear.

Omg no way me too... You wanna like... 👉👈

Rare "W Update thank you devs" comment from pro/comp minded person. Addressed a lot of my complaints from the last few years with this one and sets up future updates with a really solid direction imo. Conduit looks fun and rewarding again, Ash looks fun again, Axle looks incredibly fun (if a little OP), Vantage is heading in the right direction even if her Q is easy af to track. Not sure about the Deathbox respawns but the old system was definitely a little infuriating at times with Beacons just sometimes not spawning on an entire half of the map. Really like the map updates on BM and the removal of Tridents though. They've both been a problem for years and the new rotate options on BM look to solve at least a couple of the macro issues on that map and might (??) make it a viable comp map maybe??? W update, love the logic behind these changes and hope to see more of this kind of thing!! Now, back into hiding until next patch I guess LOL

Amazing work as always :D

What about the players that have become the best versions of themselves, have gotten Top5 at world championships, and still aren't being paid? what are they meant to do? starve? The money has to come at some point or the business collapses.

idk why every fan in apex automatically assumes everyone's a bag chaser when there's been no bag to chase for like 2 years now...

The only orgs in town seem to be the ones that demand full time prac hours and full dedication from players, expecting them to be the best possible version of themselves, and then literally offer less than 2 weeks' worth of groceries in salary. When 2 of the Top 5 teams from Champs are unsigned, including the literal world champions, that should say everything you need to know about the state of the cashflow in apex. Hope you guys get signed soon. In any other year of Apex, you and Oblivion would be on insane money after that LAN performance.

literally open MS Paint I beg

<3 hope ur well king

CONGRATS!!!!! KICK ASS OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

just look at the replies to me voicing an opinion, the community just do not know or care how to balance the game lol

Only reason I didnt mention Seer is because had some of our best games in Finals on him and ended up winning (Seer is still ass)

CATALYST WAS MEANT TO BE EVEN MORE BUFFED??????????????????????

.@Blinkzrr Stocks to the fucking moon 3-Man Insta Ports onto teams Double Jump in Longer Duration Q Kidnapping and Ports just got so much worse LMAO